If You Break the Heart
by orangekangaroo
Summary: Beastboy is the heart of the Titans, something Robin's old enemy decides to use against them. When the worst happens to B.B., can Robin and Raven save him from his nightmares? WARNINGS: GRAPHIC MALE RAPE AND TORTURE SCENE LATER IN THE STORY, and language.
1. An Average Day

The Teen Titans had been fighting crime together for two years, and in that time their friendships had grown stronger than most. Robin and Starfire were dating, Raven and Beastboy got along better, and Cyborg enjoyed the life of an inventor. All as a side to fighting crime, of course. They thought that their life was perfect, although they were forever on the watch for the return of Slade. But they had forgotten about the villain that even Robin's old mentor couldn't stop.

* * *

><p>"Titans! GO!" Robin led his group in a charge at Cinderblock. Cinderblock as on a rampage through the city and had wandered onto an active construction site.<p>

"Dude, how does he always get out?" Cyborg's arm cannon blazed as he aimed at the concrete monster.

"It doesn't matter! We're putting him back!" Robin threw a throwing bird (baterangs for Robin) at Cinderblock then ran at him with his bow staff. Robin jumped to attack, but Cinderblock hit him mid-air, sending the teenager flying. Just as he was about to hit a building, green talons caught his shoulders and pulled him clear. Beastboy was in his pterodactyl form. He depostied Robin safely on the ground and transformed back into his human form. "Thanks Beastboy! Now let's go get this guy!" Beastboy grinned and changed into a t-rex.

Starfire and Raven were mounting an aerial atack on Cinderblock. "Sir, I do not wish to hurt you! Please stop the destroying of the city!" Starfire's clear voice could be heard over the noise of the fight. She ducked a punch and shot twin beams of green light from her eyes at the monster.

"Star, I don't think he's going to stop because you asked nicely." Raven's bored voice didn't match the ferocity of her attack. The black energy of her powers engulfed things in the street and hurled them at Cinderblock. "Robin! We need a plan!" Robin nodded and waved to get Beastboy's attention. He transformed back into a human and ran to Robin.

"What's the plan?" Even though he was the clown of the group, no one could deny Beastboy's usefulness in a fight.

"We need to corner him and immobilize him. Beastboy, you and Raven corner him in that alley. Starfire, use one of those metal beams to confine him, and Cyborg, use your cannon to weld it shut. I'll help Beastboy and Raven. Titans, GO!" They all ran to do their part. Of course the plan worked perfectly and Cinderblock was soon back a maximum security detention center. The Titans piled into Cyborg's T-car and were on their way back to Titan Tower.

"Hey dudes! Let's stop for pizza!" Beastboy was so amped up from the fight that he could hardly sit still. When the others started protesting their exhaustion, Beastboy turned into the cutest kitten he could and gave them "the face". "Please please please please" is what that face said.

"Alright, alright. I've never met anyone who like pizza so much." Cyborg laughed and steered the car to their favorite pizza place where they ordered their favorite toppings. Beastboy amused them with stories and renactments of past battles. Starfire laughed so hard she spat soda all over Raven which made everyone but her laugh. After Starfire pleaded with Raven for several minutes, the steam stopped coming out of the dark girl's ears, and she used her telekinesis to dump a whole pitcher on Beastboy. All in all, the night was perfect, topped off with a movie chosen by Beastboy. Robin and Starfire sat curled up together hile Cyborg, Beastboy, and Raven shared the rest of the couch. When it was time for bed, Robin and Beastboy happened to brush their teeth at the same time.

"Hey, Beastboy, thanks for tonight." Robin and Beastboy had, over the years, become more than friends. But not in the way you think. Beastboy and Robin both had no family to go back to, and so had adopted each other as surrogate brothers. Beastboy was closer to no one on the team, even Cyborg. He and Cyborg were best friends, but him and Robin were brothers.

Beastboy grinned. "I figured we should celebrate! It was no big deal." His green skin was slightly hairy, and Robin ruffled Beastboy's hair.

"You know, I may be the head of the team, but you're the heart." Beastboy grinned even bigger.

"What body part is everyone else?"

"Oh, I don't know. But you know what I mean, right? We wouldn't be the same without you, man." Robin smiled and hugged Beastboy. "Goodnight."

" 'Night, bro." Beastboy smiled again and padded off to his room, not knowing that every word they said could be heard twenty miles away in a warehouse.

* * *

><p>"The heart of the team, eh? Hee-hee!" The man in the shadows cackled happily. "Seems the little bird found a new family. Wonder if the bat knows? Of course he does, cause the bat knows all! Ha!" He laughed again. The men in the warehouse eyed their new boss warily. The man seemed too crazy to have outwitted Gotham's greatest crime-fighter.<p>

"Hey boss, what do you want us to do?" One of the minions stepped forward.

"Do want to know...how to stop the Titans? Well, they're like the hydra." He looked at the blank faces. "Seriously? The hydra? Cut off the head, two grow back, blah, blah, blah...? Well, rip out the heart..." He cackled evilly again. "Break the heart you break the team."

**Guess who the villain is... Anyways, I like Beastboy a lot, and I always imagined that Robin would see him a little brother. There will be some graphic stuff later on, just a warning. Don't read if you are faint of heart. Read and revies are very welcome!**


	2. The Next Day

Beastboy woke to the sound of alarms flashing through the tower. He quickly put on his black and purple costume and ran out of his room. "Guys, what's going on?"

"Plasmus got out and he's downtown! Let's go!" Robin ran down the hall in a flash of red, followed by Starfire and Raven. Beastboy followed them to the garage where Cyborg had already started the car.

"Do you thinks it's just a coincidence that both Cinderblock and Plasmus escaped from maximum sercurity within hours of each other?" Raven's pale skin looked even grayer as she held onto the door. Robin looked over at her from his motorcycle outside the car.

"Someone's been letting them out."

* * *

><p>Plasmus had already caused quite a bit of damage by the time the titans got there. He was ripping apart the drums in a factory to drink the glowing green liquid inside.<p>

"Titans, GO!" Robin led them in formation to attck the beast when suddenly five men jumped out and joined Plasmus in fighting the Titans. They were dressed in head to toe black and carrying various weapons. that they used to fight the titans. The Titans split and fought their own man as Plasmus continued eating his meal of green slime.

"Robin, get the slimeball! I got your bad dude!" Robin nodded at Beastboy who turned into a gorilla and charged both men. Robin ran at Plasmus, throwing little grenades at him, dodging the monster's swings. Beastboy fought with the two men and seemed to be getting the upperhand when suddenly they turned and ran. He turned into a cheetah and sprinted after them. He ran out the after them, stopping when he didn't see them. He turned into a bloodhound and began trying to pick up they're scent. He found it and followed it to an alley, where he found them trying to climb a wall.

"Hey!" He shouted at them and was about to turn into a winged creature when they jumped down on top of him. One man pulled out a taser and shocked Beastboy with it. Beastboy had been shocked before, but this was different. He couldn't focus enough to change into an animal, the electricity seemed to scramble his thoughts too much.

"Greeny, you're coming with us! Someone wants to meet you." The man's breath was rancid as he whispered into Beastboy's ear. He tried to reach for his communicator, but the other man punched him in the face. The world went black around Beastboy as the pain overcame him.

* * *

><p>"Robin, where is friend Beastboy? I have not seen him since we doing the fighting." Starfire walked up to Robin as the authorities took the sleeping man that had been Plasmus. "He usually asks for the pizza when we win." Robin looked at the others, now realizing that Beastboy really wasn't there.<p>

"Maybe...he went home?" Cyborg shook his head.

"Robin, you know he wouldn't go home with out pizza. I saw him chase some of those guys outside. Maybe he's outside." They all walked outside and starting looking around calling for Beastboy. "Try the communicator, Robin." Robin nodded, swallowing the fear he felt.

"Beastboy? Beastboy come in. Where are you?"They waited for a response.

"Beastboy's a little busy right now, bird boy." The voice that answered was not Beastboy, but the voice of a man. "Can I take a message?" Robin froze. That voice sounded like...but it wasn't quite the same. It was...crazier.

"Who are you? What did you do to Beastboy?" Robin felt panic rising. The voice laughed, an insane and evil laugh.

"You know who I am, little birdy. We left things on a bad note. As for your friend, I haven't done anything to the _heart of the team_. Yet. Ta-ta!" Static ensued. The group looked in shock as Robin closed the communicator and got on his bike.

"Where are you going? Who was that? C'mon man.!" Cyborg's human eye was worried.

"Meet back at the tower. We need to do something first before I tell you."

Back at the tower, Cyborg swept for bugs and found several in the tower. He removed them and began studying them. "Dude, these are advanced. Not even the military has these things. They're custom made, probably by some tech genius." Robin suprised them all by slamming his fist into a wall.

"That's how he knew! THe heart of the team! That's what I called Beastboy last night. He heard it." He allowed Starfire to hug him, but he broke the embrace quickly. "I know who it is. At least, who he's trying to be." They looked expectantly at him. "But it's a long story that starts with...how I came to join the team. As you know, I didn't always live here. I came from Gotham, where me and my partner fought crime by night. We were a great team, and we never lost a fight. He was amazing because he never killed anyone because of his regard for life. But every hero has a nemisis." He rubbed his right lower arm.

"Who?" Starfire inquired.

"The Joker. Everything that Batman was, what he stood for, was the opposite of that monster. The Joker killed people for fun, not money. He had no use for money. He was insane, but brilliant. And he gave me this." He pulled off a green glove to reveal a long vertical scar on his wrist to his elbow. The team, other than Starfire, had never seen it before. "He kidnapped me, and his men had fun beating me up. Then he shot every single one of his men and dumped them in the ocean. He took out his favorite knife and told me it was time for fun. He started cutting, not deep enough to kill, but deep enough to scar. Then he went behind me...and...then Batman came through the window." Robin's eyes were unreadalbe behind his mask, but the catch in his voice told his friends that the Joker had been planning to do the unthinkable to Robin.

"Robin, what happened?" Raven's purple eyes searched his white mask.

"Batman and the Joker started fighting, and I couldn't help because I was tied to a hook. But I was losing to much blood that I felt woozy, and Batman lost his focus because he was worried about me. The Joker knocked him over, tied him up and came back to me. He was going to...hurt me. Rape me in front of Batman..." His voice stopped. "I was only twelve, but I had seen so much crime that I knew what that was. I screamed for Batman, and even though he had managed to cut through the ropes he could barely stand. The Joker had just...gotten ready when a gun went off. He fell back with a bullet in his head." Starfire pulled Robin into a hug. "Batman broke his only rule to save me. He killed a living person. With a gun, something he had sworn he would never do. Then I blacked out and woke up in the hospital. Batman was never the same again, and a few years later I left to find my own life. Then I found you. The Titans are my family now."

"So...the Joker isn't dead?" Raven always asked the questions.

"He's dead, I saw him die and we buried him. He's dead. Whoever has Beastboy...must be trying to take over as the new Joker. We never told anyone that the Joker was dead, we just let them think he disappeared. This new guy must not know that I know the real Joker is dead." At that moment there was a ringing in the hallway. Robin's head snapped up. That phone only rang for...Bruce Wayne. "I have to get that. Its...Batman." He left the circle of friends and walked to his room. He opened the safe and pulled out the cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Richard. I know you told me never to call unless it was an emergency. But I think this counts."

"What is it, Bruce?"

"There's been an escape at a maximum security prison for the criminally insane. A man named Mike Peterson broke out."

"Bruce, how is this an emergency? Something happened here and-"

"Dick, listen to me! The man that escaped thinks he's the Joker. He spent the last two years threatening to come after you. He is almost as smart as the Joker and he knows everything about the original's work. The Joker used to send him letters about his crimes, the details, everything. The man has no recollection of his life before the Joker. He wants to carry out the Joker's work, Dick. On your team. He said in a letter he left behind "Kill the head, two grow back. Break the heart, the beast dies.""

"The heart? That's what it said?"

"Yes. I'm looking for him, but if he's as smart as his intelligence tests show, we won't find him until he wants to found."

"We need to find him! I need to! He took my broth- he took my friend! He has BEASTBOY!"

"ROBIN! I understand! I know how you feel! Don't you think I felt the same way when he took you? I KNOW!" Batman raised his voice, something he rarely did with anyone. Robin sighed.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry. Call me if you find anything."

"I will, I promise. And, Dick...thanks for answering the phone." -click-

Robin walked back outside to find his friends milling around outside his door. "Were you guys listening to my conversation?"

"Yes, friend Robin."

"We have a problem. It's not the Joker. It's his replacement, one he groomed personally."

"What does he want?" Raven was worried about what Beastboy would go through.

"He wants...to finish what the Joker started all those years ago. He wants to bring me down, but I think his plan has expanded to fit you."

* * *

><p>Beastboy woke up to find himself tied to a chair. "Well, this won't be a problem" he thought. But as he tried to shift into a bug, a shock arced into his neck and stopped him.<p>

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you." He noticed the man across the room. The man walked forard and touched a collar around Beastboy's neck. It was a hard plastic with a green blinking. "This collar will prevent you from shifting into a less...agreeable form. These shocks are at just the right voltage to interupt your brainwaves that cause you to shift. Painful, isn't it?"

"Why are you doing this to me?" Beastboy felt scared without his powers. The man laughed.

"Personally, I hold nothing against you. But I was paid a lot of money to make a collar that would...confine the beast within you. I am glad to see how effective it is."

"Are you...is _he_ going to kill me?" The green boy was terrified now.

"Oh, no. I won't kill you." A tall man in a purple suit walked in. "I need you to deliver a message to bird boy." The man had makeup painted on his face to look like a demented clown.

"Then why...?"

"I said I wouldn't kill you. I never said you won't wish I did." He cackled.

**So, the next chapter will be pretty graphic, so that's why the M rating. I wanted to be safe. Reviews are welcome. I am always looking to improve my writing style. **


	3. Breaking the Heart

**This chapter will get graphic. Just a warning. Also, I like the way this story is speeding along, because usually I get bad writer's block.**

"Tell me, _Beastboy_, what do you do for the team?" The clown, Joker, sat in a chair in front of Beastboy. "Bird boy's the leader, robocop shoots things, alien girl and demon girl can fly and lift heavy things. What do you do? Change into a dog and cower in a corner?" He waited for an answer. Beastboy sat in his chair, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. But he refused to answer the clown. He didn't want to make this easy for the goons that had taken him. "No answer? Well, well, aren't we stubborn." He pulled out a black remote and pressed a button. Beastboy arched and screamed as the electricity flew his body. He sat panting and trembling as the shock ended.

"I...do...more...for...the team...than you...will ever know!" The voice from Beastboy was suprisingly strong. Joker cackled and started dancing around the bound shape-shifter. Then he hit Beastboy with a pipe, right on the shoulder. Beastboy screamed as the pipe bruised him to the bone, knowing that the Joker could have easily hit him harder. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

"Why, I already told you. I want you to deliver a message to Robin." He smiled, a gross evil smile.

"I won't tell him anything for you!"

"Who says I need you to still be able to speak? Hahahahahahaha!"

* * *

><p>Robin sat at his computers, leading the search for Beastboy. Raven and Starfire were flying over the city while Cyborg went speak with the people at the place Mike Peterson had broken out of. Robin was running multiple searches on the security feeds of hundreds of buildings for any signs of Beastboy's face or the faces of his captors. Nothing had turned up and Robin knew that if they didn't find his friends soon they may never see him again. A wave of anger swept over him, but he reigned himself in. I have to be calm to find him, he thought. "Beastboy, where are you?"<p>

* * *

><p>Beastboy had been left alone in the room, still tied to the chair. He needed to find a way to get the collar off, and to do that he needed to get free. He looked around at the room, and saw an old table with various knives, a whip, and other items. There was a hook hanging from the ceiling and it looked like it had hung recently. Beastboy decided that if he could get the chair to the table he could use one of the knives to get free. He started jumping the chair toward the table until he was close it, and bumped it so a knife fell off into his hand. He started sawing the through the ropes, careful of the sharp edge. He got one hand free, then the other, then his feet. He felt the collar and was about to try getting it off when the door opened.<p>

"Well aren't you naughty. I think you need to be punished. Get him boys." Beastboy took a fighting stance, but Joker just pushed the button on his remote and sent Beastboy twitching to the floor. "String 'im up, boys. It's time to teach this boy to behave." The men tied Beastboy's writs together and then his his ankles. They stood him up and stretched his bound wrists up to the hook and hung him from it. Beastboy was just a few inches too short and had to stand on his toes. "Alright, boys. You can have your fun for...five minutes."

"Yes sir." The leader grinned evilly at Beastboy and cracked his knuckles. "You know, you hit me pretty hard earlier. My turn now." He swung at Beastboy, striking him in the ribcage. The rest of the group joined in on the free for all, punching, kicking, and even slapping the helpless boy tied to the hook. Hands connected with flesh, leaving bruises down to the bone, cracking ribs, and tearing his costume. Beastboy tried to scream or yell, but the pain was so great he couldn't restrain whimpers and cries of anguish. This seemed to enrage his attackers more as they intensified their assult.

"Alright, times up." The Joker walked forward. The men backed off, all but the leader who continued hitting Beastboy. The Joker frowned and yanked him back. "I said, times up! You had your five minutes so go stand with your little playmates over there like a good little boy." The man stared at the clown.

"I don't think so. You know what, I think you should leave. Me and my boys are going to have our fun. It's five against one crazy clown." His men grumbled agreement.

"I...I am not...not _crazy_." The Joker was twitchy at the word crazy. He walked up the leader and quick as a striking snake he buried a knife to the hilt in the man's throat. "Time's up." The man sank to the floor. The Joker turned to the rest of the men. "Any one _else_ want to take over?" The other men backed up. "No? Good. Get out. Your part in this over. Pleasure doing business with you." He shut the door behind them and turned back to Beastboy. The young boy was bleeding from several cuts on his face as well as his nose and his eye was puffy and closed. His purple and black costume was ripped in several places, and the Joker fingered one of the holes. "You know, the ripped look is good one. Maybe we should add some more." He walked to the table and picked up the whip.

"Don't...please..." Beastboy was in so much pain he could barely think. But that changed with the first contact of the whip. The pain was so firey that the green boy was instantly screaming. The Joker laugh manically as he brought the whip down again on Beastboy's back.

"Oh, yes. This is definately adding to your outfit. -whip- Oh, no. You're getting blood all over your little outfit. That's another five lashes." He whipped the boy five more times, relishing the screams as the whip bit into his back. Beastboy could feel his costume becoming wet with his own blood. "There, have you learned anything yet? Well, now your pants don't match your shirt. Better put some rips in them too." Beastboy squeezed his eyes shut as the tears ran freely from his eyes. The Joker raised the whip and brought down on the backs of Beastboy's thighs, cutting the fabric and skin. Then another right across it, and another on the poor boys calves. Standing became impossible for Beastboy and he sagged against his bonds weeping. The blood ran down his legs, but not fast enough to indicate serious injury.

"Stop..." Beastboy moaned.

"You know, that outfit needs to just go. You got it all dirty. Let me help you." The Joker walked over to the table and selected a small, glittering knife. He walked back over to Beastboy. "This shirt is destroyed. Guess you won't mind taking it off." He took the knife and stoked it across the boy's cheek before lowering it to the hemline of his top. The Joker started cutting the shirt off Beastboy, moving slowly and deliberately until the boy's bruised and bloddied torso was exposed. The Joker put the knife in his pocket and stroked the soft green skin of Beastboy's chest. The boy jerked away in a burst of strength, something that the Joker quickly punished with a shock from the remote. "Now, now. You'd better be nice to me. You don't look so good, you know. We better take a look at those cuts." He reached up and unhooked Beastboy, who fell hard to floor and whimpered when his cuts hit the dirty surface. The Joker yanked him up roughly by the hair and dragged him to the table.

"No...more..." Beastboy could barely speak again. His voice was harsh from screaming and he didn't know how much longer he could take the torture.

"Oh, I'm not done with you. Not even close, especially if you thought that was bad. Here, drink this." He pulled a vial of clear liquid out and forced Beastboy to swallow the contents. The liquid burned all the way to his stomach and instantly he felt incredibly awake.

"What...what was that?"

"Oh, just a little concoction to keep you awake. Now, now matter how much you want to, you can't pass out." He laughed. "Oh, and all sensations will be heightened tenfold." He laughed again. Beastboy felt the pain intensify, but he also felt like maybe he could walk again. But his slim hope was soon squashed when the Joker threw him over the table so he faced up at his tormenter. "Time for a little...fun." Beastboy spat at the Joker. The man slowly wiped the saliva off his face, then grinned. "Ok. I tried to be nice. I think it's time for me to try...romantic now." He flipped the boy over his stomach and shocked him again to keep him still. He tied Beastboy's arms to the table somehow, and cut the bonds that bound his ankles. He leaned over the boy's back over the table, like a mockery of spooning.

"This will hurt you a lot more than it will hurt me. Maybe it will convince you to give that message to bird boy." He proceded to pull Beastboys pants down his legs until they pooled on the floor, and then removed them completely. Beastboy was more scared than he had ever been in his life, but he wouldn't let himself believe what was going to happen to him. The Joker spread the boys legs and tied them to the legs of the table, securely trapping the boy. "Now, tell me...are you still a virgin?"

* * *

><p>Robin was still at his computers, staring at the screens, praying for any sign as to where his friend and brother was. Robin had been awake far longer than he should, but he didn't want to fall asleep. He would see Beastboy, and he didn't want to. "Robin? You need to rest." Star's quiet voice snapped him out of his reverie. Robin turned to her, and she gasped at the tired slump of his shoulders and grim line of his mouth. "Robin, what is the matter?" She walked up to his and embraced him. He leaned into her and started crying.<p>

"I can't...I can't lose him. He's like my brother. Hell, he is my brother! I just can't know that I didn't do everything I could to find him." He hugged her tighter.

"Robin, he wouldn't want you to go on like this. You need to rest, sleep. It's late." She led him to his room and laid him down on his bed. She turned to leave, but Robin caught her arm and pulled her down to kiss her. She stroked his hair. "We'll find him."

* * *

><p>"Are you still a virgin?"<p>

Beastboy's one good eye widened in fear. _No, no, no, no,_ he thought. Not this. He was bent over a table, naked with his hands and legs tied. "Please, no. No!"

"Oh, shhhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhh. It's alright. You'll like it, it's fun." He paused to stroke Beastboy's back. "Well, for me at least." He unzipped his pants and positioned himself behind Beastboy.

Beastboy closed his eyes and waited, waited for the man to enter him. But nothing happened. He almost believed the Joker had changed his mind, when the man thrust inside Beastboy with such force the boy shrieked in pain. The Joker was still for a moment, deep inside his victim. "Ooh, you _are_ a virgin. Well, I'll you cure of that." He started thrusting, each time pulling half-way out before ramming himself back in. His dry entry and thrusts tore Beastboy inside and the blood ran down his legs, mingling with that of the whip lashes. He snaked one hand around to grope at Beastboy, his long fingers causing Beastboy's own body to betray him. "See? Told you that it was fun. You like it."

Beastboy felt a wave of disgust with himself. How could his body do this to him? He didn't want this, and yet..."No! Please, stop! Please! No more!" Beastboy wailed and tried to squirm when he felt a cold blade on his cheek.

"Now, you behave and shut up, or I'll cut your pretty face. Or something..." He trailed the knife over Beastboy's naked body. "Something...lower." He placed the knife next to Beastboy's face and used one hand to hold his face torwards it. Then he continued thrusting, even harder now, his body rubbing on the gashes on Beastboy's back. The table started moving with the ferocity of the attack, and Beastboy felt like he was being torn in half as the Joker went deeper and deeper inside him, thrusting and pulling the whole table towards him at the same time to increase the pain of each thrust. The pain was so intense the green boy wished for death, wished the pain would just stop. All thoughts of his friends, of his adopted brother Robin, went away and all he knew was the unending pain. The serum worked, and he never passed out. The Joker's breathing sped until he was moaning and panting and his thrusts became faster and faster.

A warm feeling spread into Beastboy as the Joker spent his energy. He fell on top of the quivering boy, breathing heavily. "Now...wasn't that nice?" Beastboy's tears flowed with his soft sobs. He really needed to get out of there, see his friends. See Robin, Robin would know how to help him. He felt the Joker pulled out of him and move away. "Now, those tears of joy? Are they? Must be. But don't worry, we aren't done yet." He showed Beastboy the pipe he had picked up, and went back around to Beastboy's exposed rear. "This may smart a little."

* * *

><p>Robin was woken after two hours of troubled sleep by his communicator. He lunged for it and flipped it open. "Beastboy?"<p>

"Not quite, though he is here."

"Where is he? What have you done to him?" Robin stared at the peice of equipment with a fury that would have scared the devil.

"Oh, check the locator. I turned it back on. You'll find your friend. But you have to come alone, if anyone else comes with you I will kill him."

Robin jumped out of bed and ran outside. He had slept in his clothes, and they were wrinkled but he didn't care. Beastboy needed him. He pulled up the map with his locator and saw a red flashing light on one corner of the city. Robin ran to his motorcycle and drove as fast as he could to the place, praying that Beastboy really was still alive. He couldn't lose another brother, not again.

**Ok, that was intense to write. I just got started and kept writing and suddenly the chapter was over 2000 words long and I had just written the most intense scene of my life. Robin will find Beastboy and lots of brotherly love will come out the rest of the chapters. Reviews are how I get better, so please leave them! Thanks, until next time.**


	4. Bleeding Heart

**Alright, thanks for the reviews, unknown person(s). Enjoy this unusually fast update.**

Robin found the old warehouse on the outskirts of the city. It was rundown, and it had obviously not been used for years. Robin walked inside, bow-staff out, ready to fight if need be. He turned a corner and found four men lying in the hallway, grotesque Joker-grins on their faces, all dead. Beastboy has to be here, Robin thought.

"Over here, bird boy. Getting warmer!" Robin ran towards the sound of that voice. "Getting warmer, warmer, colder, warmer, hotter, oh, right there! That's the door, bird boy!" Robin inspected the door, knowing that it was probably a trap. But Beastboy might be behind it, so he kicked it open and...nothing happened. He looked in the dimly lit room, and saw a figure in the corner hanging from a hook by their wrists. Robin ran over the figure and saw it was Beastboy. Just before he reached his friend the boy started twitching and moaning.

"Beastboy? What's wrong?" He was afraid to go nearer.

"He...behind...you..." The green boy managed to gasp. Robin whirled to see the Joker leaning casually against the doorframe. He took a fighting stance in front of Beastboy.

"What did you do to him?" Robin snarled out the words. The Joker just laughed and walked closer.

"My dear boy, just ask your friend. But first, don't you want to know why?" The man's voice sent chills up Robin's spine, but he kept his stance.

"Fine. Why did you take Beastboy?"

"Why, I wanted to hurt you. Finish my work. But my plan was to destroy the heart of the team, whom I assumed was you. But you proved me wrong, young man. _You're_ just the head of the team. But him! That green boy, that beautiful green boy is the heart." Robin's grip tightened on his staff. "I knew that hurting your friend here would hurt you worse than hurting you directly." Robin lunged at him and swung his staff, but it passed right through him. "Ooh, that as naughty, attacking a harmless holograph. Take your friend, I'm done with him. But we had a good time. Toodles!"

"Robin..." Robin turned back to his friend, the Joker forgotten. He ran over and saw that his friend, his brother, was stark naked except for a black collar. He was also covered in blood, contrasting with his green skin. Robin's blood boiled at the sight of the whip marks on his back when he went behind him to check for traps.

"Ok Beastboy. I'm going to lift your wrists off the hook, and I want you to put them around my neck, ok?" He lifted the boy's wrists off the hook and took his weight as Beastboy put his wrists around his neck. He sat down gently with the green boy and pulled him into his lap. Robin pulled out his communicator. "Robin calling Titans. Come in."

"Robin, have you found friend Beastboy? Where are you?" Robin told Starfire the coordinates.

"Raven, I need you to get over here and transport me and Beastboy back to the tower. Cyborg and Starfire, prep the medical bay NOW!"

"On my way, Robin." A black shadow appeared and Raven materialized. "Oh my God. Beastboy!" She ran over to them and pulled off her robe to wrap Beastboy in it. "We need to find the Joker!" But she never took her eyes off the now wrapped Beastboy, who snuggled into the soft blue fabric. She used her power to take the collar off and Robin tucked it into his belt.

"No time, Raven. We need to get him out of here! Now!" Raven nodded and wrapped them in a bubble of dark energy. Beastboy whimpered and Robin shushed him. When the bubble cleared they were back at the tower. "Cyborg! Is the med bay ready yet?" He sprinted down the hall with Beastboy in his arms. Beastboy was vaguely aware that he was home, and with Robin. But he had lost a lot of blood and his vision was getter dark. "Beastboy, stay with me! Stay..." The world went black.

Beastboy was floating in a sea of black, weightless, colorless, and motionless. He could feel gentle hands brushing over him, stitching up his wounds, taking the pain away. There was one pain, though, that not even the gentle hands could fix, one that Beastboy wasn't ready face. He wanted to let the blackness take over, sooth the pain, take him away. But he couldn't, there was something he had to remember. Then he heard his voice, his only family. "Beastboy, hang on! Don't go!" Then he remembered his friends. His reason for living. And Robin, the only brother he had ever known. He couldn't leave Robin, or Raven, the girl he had secretly liked for years. And who would whip Cyborg at videogames or make Starfire her favorite foods? Beastboy knew he couldn't leave.

The hands had stopped, and Beastboy struggled with the darkness, fighting to find the light.

* * *

><p>Robin had stitched up all the gashes and opened Beastboy up to stop the internal bleeding caused by three broken ribs. "Beastboy, stay with me! Stay here! Don't leave me! I can't lose another brother!" He sat by Beastboy's bed all night, the other Titans sleeping lightly in their rooms having been convinced by Robin to leave. Robin was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, trying to stay awake. He wanted to be there when Beastboy woke up. <em>If he wakes up,<em> hissed a mean voice in Robin's mind. Robin shook it away. But within the hour he couldn't stay awake anymore and fell asleep in the fresh uniform he had put on. The other had been stained with Beastboy's blood.

* * *

><p><strong>The next morning<strong>

Robin woke with a jolt, and looked over at his friend, still lying in the medical bay. Beastboy hadn't moved, and Robin felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He should have noticed Beastboy run out alone, stopped him. He should have found him before this could happen. Robin had examined all of Beastboy's injuries, including the ones that hurt Beastboy more than just physically. Robin's little voice carried on. _You let your friend get captured, tortured, RAPED? Some brother you turned out to be. He will never forgive you!_ Robin shook his head. _No, shut up! He's my friend; I'll take care of him! _His mental fight was interrupted by a stirring on the bed.

"Robin?" The green eyes that looked at Robin were Beastboy's, but they were off. The look in them quieted any doubt in Robin's mind about what had happened to his friend.

"Hey Beastboy." Those words seemed to break something in Beastboy and his lip started trembling. Robin sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Beastboy to his chest. Beastboy threw his arms around Robin and sobbed into his friend and brother's shoulder. "Shh, shh. I've got you. It's over. It's alright." He rubbed the crying boy's back soothingly, his own tears threatening to break out.

"R-Robin, I'm s-so sorry..."

"No, Beastboy. There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry I let you go alone. I should have paid more attention." The two boys sat together, Beastboy clinging to Robin like a small child who finally found their way home, and Robin held his brother and rocked him back and forth until the boy fell asleep again. He gave Beastboy a light sedative in his IV to ensure a dreamless sleep, then went outside to tell the others.

"How is he, Robin?" Cyborg's human eye was tired and sad.

"He's scared, but he'll live. The Joker's goons beat him up pretty bad, but I fixed the bleeding and stitched up the gashes. But..." He paused and took a deep breath. "There are some things that I think Beastboy needs to tell you himself, when he's ready. We all know what happened. What that monster did to him." The Titans shifted uncomfortably. They all knew that their friend had been raped, but no one knew how to deal with it.

"Can we see him?" Raven wanted to know that her friend was really ok. She and the green boy didn't always get along, but Raven was afraid to lose the only boy who seemed to see her as just a girl.

"He's asleep, but you can go in there again." As a group the friends filed into Beastboy's room and took up residence in whatever furniture there was. Robin took up his chair again, Starfire sat next to him. Cyborg sat in the last chair on the other side of the bed and Raven meditated off the floor to control her emotions. They sat there for hours, for once thankful that there was no crime in the city to fight.

Beastboy woke from his dreamless slumber to find his friends gathered around his bed. They were sleeping, except for the floating Raven. She noticed him and landed next the bed. She stroked his face and her purple eyes gazed into his green ones. "Hi, Beastboy."

"Raven." He said her name like a sigh. She looked haggard and scared, and her eyes were bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep. But she was beautiful to Beastboy. He turned his face from hers and hid under the blanket. She pulled the blanket back and turned his face towards her again, but he refused to meet her eyes. "Raven, I'm so...ashamed. Don't look at me."

"Don't be like that. Don't shut me out. Beastboy, look at me. Better. Now you listen here. We are your friends, and we will be here for you as long as you need us. I was so...scared that I'd never be able to tell you...how good a friend you are." The tears started running down Beastboy's face and he let Raven pull him into gentle hug. The others slowly awoke to find Raven holding the shaking Beastboy and they all put a hand on Beastboy. He smiled weakly at them. His family.

* * *

><p>Beastboy was lying on his side of the couch, watching his favorite movie with the Titans. His head was on a pillow in Raven's lap, and Robin sat on the floor in front of Beastboy so the boy knew where his brother was. Die Hard never failed to make Beastboy feel better, and true to form he could feel some of his sorrow fading as he watched a movie with his friends. It had taken a lot of convincing for Robin to let him out of the medical bay, but he just wanted to get out. The sterile room was depressing, and even Robin had to admit that Beastboy was healing faster than expected.<p>

But even with the accelerated healing, lying on his back was painful due to the lashes and the pain in his rear. It stretched inside him, and Beastboy just tried to ignore it. Raven rubbed small circles in his neck, soft and gentle, and they were heavenly. He sighed and snuggled into his blanket. Soon it would be time for to him to go to his own room and sleep. After the movie Robin walked him to his room and helped him get ready for bed.

"Beastboy, are you sure you don't want me stay?" Robin's masked eyes looked as worried as they could. Beastboy almost changed his mind, but he stopped. He didn't want to be a burden to his friends. He shook his head. Robin hugged him close and said goodnight. Beastboy turned on the nightlight next to his face and laid down to sleep, and then the dreams started.

_"This may smart a bit." The Joker cackled. Beastboy was crying and begging for him to stop. Nothing happened and Beastboy hoped for a moment that maybe the Joker would just hit him with the pipe. Then he felt the tip on his anus. "You might want to relax, Beastie." Then he rammed the pipe inside Beastboy with such force Beastboy thought the pipe would punch through to his stomach. He screamed louder than he had the whole day. The Joker cackled and rammed the pipe in again, and again. "My, my, you are a bleeder." Beastboy thought something must have ripped inside him because the blood running down his legs increased._

_"STOP! PLEASE! NO NO NO NO NO!" His screams rang through the warehouse. The Joker left the pipe inside Beastboy, as far as it would go, and stepped back._

_"You want me to stop? Very well, I've stopped. Oh, shh, shh, shh. Don't cry. We're just getting to the fun part." The Joker stroked the back of the naked shape shifter._

_"FUCK YOU!" Beastboy knew he'd regret those words, but they felt right to say. The pipe in his ass was painful and hard, and even the slightest movement cause agony. He was way past not swearing. The Joker drew back._

_"Now, now. That's not very...nice!" He hit the pipe, shoving it even further in, and Beastboy felt something tear. He shrieked with agony. The Joker pulled out the pipe. "My turn." He unzipped his pants again._

* * *

><p>Robin was tossing and turning in his sleep, worried about Beastboy. He had just begun settling in when he heard the screams of fear coming from Beastboy. He sprinted to the room and almost flew to Beastboy's bed. The boy was shrieking in his sleep, tossing and turning and trying to fight off something Robin couldn't see. "Stop! Please! NOOOOOOO!" Robin caught his hands and shook him.<p>

"Beastboy! Wake up! You're here, you're safe! Wake up!" Beastboy's eyes flew open and he looked around wildly until he focused on the boy holding him down. The boy had dark blue eyes and messy black hair. His face seemed familiar, but his voice was what Beastboy recognized. "Beastboy, it's ok! You're safe!"

"R-Robin? Is that you?" The boy nodded and pushed the hair out of his face. He realized he hadn't grabbed his mask in his haste to get to his friend.

"Yes, it's me." Beastboy wrapped his arms around Robin and sobbed into his shoulder. The dark haired boy stroked his friend's back and whispered in his ear. When the other Titans made it to Beastboy's room, they found Beastboy in the arms of a boy they had never seen before. But the way he clung to Beastboy let them know exactly who it was. "Beastboy, you're alright. I'm right here." Beastboy calmed a bit and saw his other friends in the door. "You had a nightmare."

"Robin?"

"Yes, Beastboy?"

"They all see you. Without your mask." Robin finally noticed his other teammates.

"I don't care. You needed me. Can they come in?" Beastboy nodded and the others enter the room and sat on the bed with them. They didn't know how long they sat there, but they woke up the next morning all on Beastboy's bed. The green boy's head rested on Robin's chest and he slept peacefully as his friends woke up. Robin's maskless face was younger than expected and blue eyes looked at Beastboy with such brotherly love that Starfire knew she had picked the right man to love. She caught his eye and he smiled weakly at her. Raven was lying across the bottom of the bed, and Cyborg was plugged into his portable charger in the corner.

"He looks so...peaceful, Robin." Raven stared at the face of their leader. They had never seen his face before, not even Starfire when she slept over in his room. "Hard to believe that a few hours ago he was screaming and we had never seen your face." Robin smiled a tired smile which faded as he felt Beastboy waking up. "Hey Beastboy." Beastboy looked around and saw Robin's unmasked face. The events of the night came crashing back and he started crying again. "Hey, can you guys leave? I need to talk to Beastboy." They nodded and left, Starfire giving Robin a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm-I'm so sorry. I'm so weak." Beastboy's shoulders shook as fought to contain his shame.

"No. No, never say that. If anyone is weak, it's that freak who thinks he's the Joker." Robin told Beastboy the same story he had told the others. Beastboy and Robin sat facing each other on the bed. "So, it's not really the Joker. But he may as well be. The real Joker made sure that even in death his work would be completed. He saw me as the one that got away. He wants to destroy me, and he knew that...that hurting you would...hurt me more than anything else." His blue eyes were glassy and sad. "I'm so sorry Beastboy. I should have protected you! I always say you're my brother, but I can't even keep you safe!"

"Robin, don't. You couldn't have known. It's not your fault that I was...r-raped." At the word, his face crumpled again and Robin pulled the shaking boy into his lap again and held him while cried out the pain. "Robin, he took my biggest treasure. He took my virtue. And the worst part is, I can still...still feel him...inside me...moving...and..." He couldn't finish his sentence. Robin hugged him tighter and stroked his neck the way he saw Raven do it. Beastboy calmed and stopped crying, but he stayed in Robin's lap.

"Beastboy, I love you. You are my brother, and I will never, _never_ let anyone hurt you again." Robin looked Beastboy in the eyes. "I promise."

"I love you too, brother." Beastboy could remember his parents, loving people that had made him the way he was to save him from a virus. He had loved them, but after their deaths he had felt so alone. But with Robin, he felt that hole healing. He had a brother.

**Awww, brotherly love. Super-long chapter, but oh well. And yes, the story of Beastboy's parents is real, look it up. There may be more flashbacks as the story goes on. We'll see how it goes. Reviews extremely welcome.**


	5. A Time to Heal

Beastboy stared at the collar in his hands, the one that not long ago had restricted his powers. "The man said that it was made specially for me. To 'contain the beast'. I didn't recognize him." Raven slid a hand into Beastboy's and squeezed. It was later in the day and Beastboy had recovered from his dream enough to talk about what happened.

"Whoever made that thing must have made those bugs in the tower." Cyborg examined the collar for the fifth time. "It has a tuned frequency that it emits along with a specific voltage. It caused B.B. to lose focus." Beastboy just nodded. That's what the man had said.

"Beastboy, if you don't want to talk about this yet, we'll understand. It hasn't even been a week." Raven spoke softly to Beastboy and gave his hand a little squeeze.

"No, I need...I need to tell someone. I can't...this is eating me up inside. I need to do this. I need to admit to myself...that this really happened." He cleared his throat. "They used the collar to keep me 'agreeable' so I wouldn't turn into a t-rex and eat them." He chuckled weakly. "But...I tried to get away. I almost did but they came back and...tied me to a hook. They tied my ankles together too, just to be safe, and then the Joker told his goons they had five minutes." He looked up at his friends.

"Beastboy, did they..." Robin couldn't say it. Beastboy shook his head.

"No, they just beat the shit out of me for five minutes. But the leader wouldn't stop, so the Joker just...killed him. Without even blinking. The others left, but I guess they didn't get very far." Robin shrugged. "Anyways, that's when the Joker, um, Joker-ish dude, picked up...the whip." He shuddered and closed his eyes. Raven squeezed his had again and Robin squeezed his other hand. "He, um, said he wanted to...complete the 'ripped look' on my uniform, but...when he finished, he just took the top off." His voice caught and it was several seconds before he continued. 'He, um, forced me backwards...over the table, and made me drink something. He said it would keep me from passing out and heighten the sensations...He was right." He closed his eyes, reliving the moment.

"Beastboy, you're safe. You're here with me, and I'll be here the whole time." Raven's eyes showed more emotion than they ever had.

"I...I spit in his face...I just wanted to feel like I wasn't weak. He got mad and said that he had tried nice and now he would try...romantic." Everyone shifted nervously, except Raven. "He flipped me over and shocked me. He got my arms tied down, and then...then he took my pants off...and tied my legs to the table legs. Then he...didn't do anything, and I thought maybe he was just messing with me...but then I heard him unzip his pants...and then..." He took a shuddering breath. "He raped me." Beastboy buried his face in his hands, which he extracted from his friends, and took sobbing breathes. Raven pulled him to her and held him gently, murmuring soft words.

"Beastboy, we need to know. Did he...did he do...anything else?" The words were heavy in Raven's mouth. The sobbing boy nodded and spoke into her shoulder.

"After he...f-finished...he pulled out a pipe...and...he used it...I screamed for him to stop, I did! But he wouldn't...wouldn't stop!" He was sobbing now. "Then he pulled it out and threw the pipe away and...raped me again!" He was almost yelling now, he was in such a rush to get the words out. Raven hugged him tightly and started crying with him. The others sat in shocked silence, unable to fathom the evil that had been done to their friend. Then Cyborg jumped up.

"I'm going to kill that bastard! I will!" Robin ran after the Cyborg, knowing how dangerous the young half-robot was when he was angry. Starfire went with him, leaving Beastboy sobbing in the arms of Raven. They could hear Robin arguing with Cyborg, telling him that it was more important for him to be there for Beastboy.

"Beastboy...Gar...you need to tell me...was that everything?" The boy nodded and lightly put his arms around her. "Ok. You did good. Do you want me to leave?" The boy's arms wrapped tigher around her.

"Please, stay. Don't go. I need to know...that you aren't...disgusted by me..." Raven turned his face towards him. He looked at her with his broken eyes, and that look shattered the normally calm half-demon.

"Oh, Beastboy, I'm not disgusted by you! I...I...I think that...I l-love...you." She looked into his eyes and he could see into her soul, see the love pooling there.

"Really?"

"Yes. I...I love you, Beastboy." She waited for his dismissal, the rejection. When he didn't say anything, she looked at him.

"I love you, Raven. I think I have for awhile. Even when I thought I loved Terra...I loved you. But I can't give you...what I want to give you. That..._man_ took something from me that I hoped to give to you."

"Beastboy, he may have taken something from you. I know I'll never understand how you feel, I mean, I've never even been kissed. But someday...maybe...when you're ready...I'll give part of it back." She stroked his face. He leaned into her touch.

"I just...can't do this right now, though. I need...time. Time to...move on...move past this." Beastboy sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'll wait for you. And we'll all be here for you, anytime. You know that." Raven paused. "You know, I've never seen Robin so upset as when you...disappeared. He really loves you as family. That's a big thing for him."

"I know. He's the best brother I could have ever asked for." Beastboy pulled away from Raven and grabbed a pillow. He put it in her lap and laid his head there again, so Raven started rubbing his neck. Cyborg came back in, lead by Robin and Starfire. He was still mad, but he had calmed down enough to be around others.

"Hey, B. I'm sorry I freaked out. Is there...anything...we can do for you?" He looked at his best friend, still lying in Raven's lap.

"Let's watch a movie." Beastboy smiled weakly. "I want to have a normal day with friends." Cyborg smiled.

"Then we'll need pizza."

**I know, not much of an update. But I figured that Beastboy telling his friends would a good step in his recovery. Next chapter will be a little more action-y, maybe. We'll see. Reviews, please! :)**


	6. I'm Not Broken

A week had passed since Beastboy's first nightmare, and he had had them every night since. Robin started staying in Beastboy's room, sleeping on the floor so he could wake Beastboy up quickly. Beastboy's screams could be heard through the whole tower, but the other Titans had to grit their teeth and wait it out. Beastboy was embarrassed by his night terrors, made worse on the second night when he woke to find everyone in his room again. He had turned into a wolf and destroyed part of a wall. Robin asked everyone to leave and privately told them to let him handle the nightmares. Now when Beastboy's nightmares began Robin jumped to wake him up before he could turn into an animal and break things. Robin thought that they were getting better, and Beastboy went through his days like nothing was wrong. He played videogames with Cyborg and made his weird tofu foods. He avoided thinking about what happened, refusing to talk to anyone about it.

He didn't tell anyone that his dreams were getting harder and harder to wake up from because he didn't want to show weakness. Beastboy had been repressing his memories since he told his friends, and they were building up. His dreams became worse and more real everynight. Then one night he found himself woken by the whole team and he was in the garage.

"Beastboy, you were sleep walking and crying." Robin's worried eyes stared into Beastboy's watery ones.

"I'm...sorry. I just want to go back to bed." He pushed past his friends and ran back to his room. He laid in bed all night without sleeping, even when Robin returned to his place on the floor.

* * *

><p>The next morning Raven pulled Beastboy into her room. "We need to talk."<p>

"Um...ok." Beastboy didn't know what to expect, but she didn't seem mad.

"You can't get lost in a dream like that again. Sleepwalking is dangerous. But..." Raven looked away.

"But what, Rae?"

"You need to talk about what happened. Work through it. Otherwise it will just build inside you again and your dreams will become your reality." She held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

"I know you're right. But..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to...talk to...Cyborg, or Starfire. They won't understand. And Robin, he alreay blames himself so much. It would destroy him. Can I...can I just talk to you?" Raven smiled a small smile and nodded.

"Of course."

Over the next few days, Raven and Beastboy spent hours together in her room, Beastboy spilling his feelings, his dreams, and even his memories of the Joker with her. Sometimes they just hung out, too. Raven taught Beastboy to meditate, to clear his feelings and control his dreams. Beastboy helped Raven appreciate the art of videogames, and soon she was beating him and Cyborg easily. Though she was still reserved and quiet, she smiled more and Beastboy stopped waking up screaming in the middle of the night. One week later Robin stopped sleeping his room, though Beastboy wasn't alone.

Beastboy said goodnight to everyone and laid to down sleep. Five minutes later Raven materialized from the floor in just her leotard and joined Beastboy in his bed. She had started sleeping with him when Robin left because she could tell he was still scared of being alone. They never did more than sleep, and when the morning came Raven would go back to her room so no one on the team would know. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Titans! Go!" It was the first crime fighting that the Titans had done since Beastboy was taken. Some thugs were robbing a jewelry store, an easy win for the Titans. Beastboy hadn't had a nightmare in weeks, and he was ready to go out into the world again and fight crime with his team. He turned into a kangaroo and took out two thugs with his feet and then rejoined his team. The thugs hadn't stood a chance against the Titans, but Beastboy felt better than he had in weeks. On their way home, he asked for the one thing he always asked for.<p>

"Hey, guys. Let's get some pizza!" Beastboy's eyes had lost the haunted, broken look they had contained and the team readily agreed. At their favorite place, Cyborg told his best stories to make everyone laugh, even Beastboy. His laugh was back, the same care-free giggle that they had missed. "Cyborg! Stop! You're making soda come out my nose!" It was the first night that they had heard his laugh and it made that night special. Beastboy was sitting next to Raven in the booth, and even she couldn't help but smile at the sparkle in his eyes. He even cracked his jokes.

"Beastboy, you aren't funny." But even her deadpan was happy, and Beastboy just grinned at her.

"Ok, guys. Let's go home." Robin, ever the responsible leader. Everyone stood up.

"Actually, um, I would like to stay out for a little while...with...Raven." Beastboy blushed. Raven smiled a little and nodded.

"Go on, Robin. We'll be back soon. Don't worry, we'll be fine." Robn knew that Raven could always whisk Beastboy back to the tower if something happened, so he agreed.

Beastboy and Raven walked the streets that were alive with people going home from work. "Raven?" She looked over. "Thanks. For everything. You've helped me so much, you and Robin. You worked so hard to save me."

"You're worth saving, Beastboy. But you saved yourself, too. The Joker wanted to break the heart of the team. But he didn't. You aren't broken, you just needed help to see that." Beastboy smiled and looked straight ahead. They walked a little longer when Beastboy heard a street musician singing a slow version of "Everytime We Touch". Her voice was clear and beautiful, and several couples around her were slow dancing. He took Raven's hand and led her to the other couples. She looked nervous, but he just put her hands on his neck and put his hands on her lower back. They swayed with the music, staring into each other's eyes. They danced through the song, and the next song. By the end of the second song, they were dancing close, almost hugging. Beastboy pulled back and looked into Raven's beautiful purple eys, and leaned in. She leaned in as well, and when their lips met they felt right.

* * *

><p>Robin and Starfire were in the living room, watching Jersey Shore while Cyborg amused himself by watching Robin try to explain the show to Starfire. "Why do they drink the alcoholic drinks? They are most unpleasant. And is it a normal part of Earth culture to paint your skin orange?" Robin was trying to explain drunkeness to her when Raven and Beastboy walked into the Tower, holding hands.<p>

"Alright! It's about time!" Cyborg was, as always, the first to speak.

"I have somthing to say to all of you." Beastboy walked to the center of the room and Raven sat down in her chair. "When you found me...that day, you took care of me. All of you worked to help me, and I just want to say...Thank you. You never gave up on me, even when I wanted to." He stood awkwardly until Starfire jumped up and hugged him, followed shortly by Robin. Cyborg jumped in yelling "Group hug!", even scooping up Raven to join in. But Raven wouldn't have needed the encouragement.

"Oh, now isn't that cute? Beastie's group hug! Kodak moment if I ever saw one." The Joker's voice rang through the tower. Beastboy's mind froze with fear and the Titans moved in front of him.

"Where are you, clown?" Cyborg's voice shook with rage.

"Oh, I'm not there. But you need to bulk up your security on those cameras. I finally broke through into the feed and what do I find? A family moment. Hee-hee!" His face appeared on the wall of moniters they used to moniter crime.

"Cyborg, go shut down the system." Robin was shaking with pent up anger.

"Hello, my little green friend. Do you still dream about me?" Beastboy turned pale and Raven stepped protectively in front of him. "Ooh, protective much? Anywho, I was calling to check on my little green friend here. But it looks like his little heart is healed." The Joker's voice sounded annoyed. "Maybe we should have a round two."

"Stay away from him or the level of crazy you're on will seem like Disneyland when I'm done with you." Raven's red eyes blazed as she took on her demon form. Everyone back away and even the Joker blanched at her appearence. Then Cyborg cut the power to the moniters and they fell silent. Raven calmed herself and shrank back to her regular form just as Robin caught the collapsing Beastboy. Beastboy let himself be pulled into a tight hug by Robin.

"Beastboy, you're safe. He was just on the screen, You're ok." Robin was worried. That same shattered looked was back in Beastboy's eyes, and he had started to tear up. "C'mon, it's late. Let's get you to bed."

"I'll take him." Raven reached for Beastboy.

"Are you sure?" She shot her leader an annoyed look. Her friend, her love, was in pain and she was just not in the mood for Robin's overprotective big brother moments.

"Why not? I've been sleeping in his room for awhile now." She took Beastboy's hand and led him to bed leaving the other Titans wide-eyed and confused.

"Ok..." Robin shook his head. "Cyborg, how did he get in the system? These are state of the art." Cyborg looked out from under the table holding the moniter.

"I found it. A little bug. It's been slowly working it's way into our system since the day Beastboy was taken. It was the only way for the Joker to get into our system, but our firewalls were strong enough to keep him out til now." He returned to his work. "I need to pull out these cables and replace them. I don't know how much of our system was corrupted."

"Um, Raven said she had been sleeping with Beastboy?" Starfire looked innocently at Robin.

"It must be a reason why he doesn't have nightmares anymore. It's their business. I doubt that they...do more than sleep." Robin blushed slightly.

* * *

><p><em>In Beastboy's room<em>

Raven sat on the bed with Beastboy. They were both laying face up looking at the ceiling. Niether said a word. If there was one thing that scared Raven, it was a silent Beastboy. Suddenly he spoke up.

"Raven, what if he comes back for me?" Her hand found its way to his as he continued. "I don't think you could pull me out of it a second time, if he even let me live. He sounded so...mad that I wasn't still a raving lunatic. Like he hadn't done...enough the first time. I just feel so...broken. Again."

"Gar, he won't get to you again. We won't let him. And you aren't broken. That man did something to you that no one should ever have to know. But you aren't broken. You never were. You're too strong." Beastboy snorted.

"Strong? Not strong enough to stop him. You would have been able to stop him if wanted to hurt you."

"Stop talking like that. If he could stop your abilities, he would find a way to stop mine. I think if I had gone through the same thing, I wouldn't have been able to come back like you did." She moved closed to Beastboy until their shoulders were touching and their twined fingers were resting on his stomach. Beastboy turned his head to look at her.

"Yes, you would. You would because we would help you. I would help you like you helped me. Raven, you don't realize it, but you're the strongest one on the team." Raven smiled.

"No, you are. You hold us together. Without you, fighting crime wouldn't be nearly as fun." Beastboy smiled and the shattered look lifted from his eyes.

"Wait, you have fun?" Raven hit him with a pillow and Beastboy caught her wrist. He brought it down gently and kissed Raven again. "At least I got to give you one thing."

"What was that?"

"My first kiss." Beastboy stroked her face softly. Raven blushed and then snuggled closer as Beastboy wrapped his arms around her. They fell asleep like that and the next morning they stayed in Beastboy's room. Raven and Beastboy meditated together for a few hours and after Beastboy made breakfast for the Titans. No one commented on Raven and Beastboy's new relationship, just as no one commented on Robin and Starfire's. It was just accepted.

**Alright, I know this wasn't exactly the "action-y" chapter I promised, but I have writer's block on that front. Thanks for all the reviews. They drive me to move forward. Also, if you have any ideas to clear my writer's block, go ahead. Thanks, and until next time...**


	7. Secrets

**I think it's time for a new character to enter this story. At least for a little bit. Let me know what you think.**

"Titans! An alarm has been tripped at maximum security facility that houses Xenothium. Guess who needs that stuff?"

"Seriously? And I was having such a nice day." Cyborg grumbled all the way to the warehouse while Robin prepared himself for another showdown with his opposite. They arrived at the warehouse and spread out to find the culprit. Beastboy went with Raven, Cyborg went with Starfire, and Robin went alone. Beastboy and Raven were walking down the hallway when they were confronted by a masked figure with a red x on his chest and mask.

"We thought it was you, X." Raven's eyes glowed white as she prepared to fight. She pressed the jewel on her collar, which was actually the signal that they found Red X.

"Yup, it's me. Who else needs this stuff? Now be a good girl and let me through." Red X's voice sounded a little like Robins, but it held none of his serious demeanor.

"I don't think so, Red X." Robin ran in, followed by Cyborg and Starfire. "You're going to jail, where criminals like you belong."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid. I'm not a villain, I'm a thief. I thought we already had this talk. By the way, nice job with the security systems. Even I didn't see that alarm."

"I knew you'd come back when your suit ran low, so I added a few precautions." Robin's voice held the pre-fight tension it always did. "Titans, go!" They attacked Red X, but the thief was a good fighter. He had all kinds of red gadgets to immobilize or otherwise take down the Titans, but they were determined.

"Give it up, kid. I'm not hurting any-oof" He was knocked off his feet by Beastboy in kangaroo form and flew into a wall. "Nice, Beastie." Beastboy froze at that name, the same one the Joker used. Red X noticed this, but brushed it aside. He leapt up and attempted to teleport, but his belt was too low on Xenothium to do so. He turned and ran down the corridor towards the Xenothium deposit, the Titans right behind. They reached a five-way split and split up again, one per hallway.

Beastboy ran down his hallway when suddenly he came upon the vault door that housed the reactive Xenothium. Red X was already working on opening the door when a green octopus pulled him away. The thief slapped an x on a tentacle and it became hot. Beastboy dropped the thief and transformed into his normal form.

"Tell me, Beastie. Why do you stick with those squares? You seem like too much fun."

"Don't..._ever...CALL ME BEASTIE!"_ He rammed Red X as a goat, but the thief landed gracefully on his feet. His green eyes blazed with fury, but also a pain that Red X had seen before.

"What happened to you?" The thief knew he shouldn't care, but the green boy had changed. Suddenly a new voice entered the picture.

"Yes, what _did_ happen, Beastie?" The cackle that followed made Red X's blood run cold and he saw Beastboy blanch with...fear? No, not fear, terror. "I just figured I would come see what the fuss about this Xenothium is, and who do I find? Why, my dear Beastie. Care for round two?" A man with scary clown makeup walked into the light.

Red X felt an unexpected wave of protectiveness towards the green shapeshifter as he realized who this clown was and what he must have done. "Well, hate to burst your bubble, but that Xenothium is mine, so you may as well leave." The clown laughed and took a step closer as his henchmen came into view. "Hey, Beastboy." Beastboy was surprised; the thief had never called him that. "Now is probably a good time to call for back up." Beastboy nodded and pushed the button on his belt.

"Oh, now that wasn't very fair. I was perfectly willing to let you live...but now? 'Fraid not, red-boy." He gestured to his goons, and they charged the two boys. As they battled, the clown stood casually against a wall.

"Beastboy! When is your team getting here?" Red X was handling himself fine, but he wanted to know how long he had to wait before he needed to make a getaway.

"I don't know! Another minute?" They fought back to back, and they had just beaten the last assailant when the Joker appeared behind Beastboy.

"Beastie, you've been naughty. Time to be punished." He pulled out a knife and was about to stab the helpless boy when-the knife was stopped.

"Beastboy!" Robin ran in just in time to see Red X throw himself in front of the knife and take it into his stomach. The Joker ran away, laughing, with Starfire and Cyborg hot on his trail. Beastboy turned and caught the falling thief.

"Why?" Beastboy couldn't see Red X's eyes, but he gently lowered him to the ground.

"I...honestly...don't...know." Red X felt his blood leaking out, but it still hurt. That was a good sign. Robin ran over and began to staunch the flow of blood. "Hey, kid. You...going to take me to...jail now?" He was panting.

"No, you need medical attention. I'm taking you to the tower before you die." Honestly, Robin couldn't believe that the thief had taken the knife meant for Beastboy. He couldn't just leave the thief to die, or take him to a prison doctor. Cyborg and Starfire came back, shaking their heads. The Joker got away. Raven wrapped them in a bubble of energy and brought them to the tower. Robin and Beastboy helped the thief to the medical bay and laid him down on a bed. Robin took off the shirt part of the costume, leaving the mask on. Even if he was thief, Robin understood the value of a secret identity.

"You're not...taking...off...my...mask..." Red X succumbed to the anesthetic just as Robin began fixing the wound.

* * *

><p>Red X woke up to find himself handcuffed to the medical bed, but he was still wearing his mask. He turned his head to see the green boy sleeping in chair. "Hey, kid. Wake up." Beastboy stirred and rubbed his eyes. "Hey, what's the plan? You gonna take me to jail or what?"<p>

"How can you think about jail? You almost died, dude." Beastboy scooted closer to the bed. "By the way, why did you do that? Take the knife?"

"I slipped." Beastboy snorted.

"Yeah, right. I'm serious. Why did you save me?" Red X was silent for a moment.

"I don't know. Maybe because I've seen that look before."

"What look?"

"The look you get when someone calls you Beastie. When the clown showed up. I've seen that look before. I know what happened to you, Beastboy. At least, I think I do." Red X's face was unreadable behind his mask. Beastboy looked at his hands, pretending they were really interesting. "You know, I wasn't always a thief. I had a family, a life."

"How do you know that 'look' you say I get?" Beastboy looked over at the thief.

"That's a story for another day, kid." Just then Robin came in with the other Titans.

"Beastboy, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Robin. Thanks to Red X." Robin walked over to the bed and unlocked the thief's handcuffs.

"What was that for, kid? Not that I couldn't have gotten out myself." Red X tried to sit up painfully, but failed.

"You saved my friend's life. Even though you're a criminal, we've decided that you have earned your freedom for another day." Robin helped Red X sit up. "Red X?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"Thank you. I don't know why, but for some reason you saved Beastboy. You're welcome to stay here and heal, and then you can leave." Robin quirked a smile. "Unless you steal anything, that is. Then you're going to jail." Red X laughed.

"You gave me your word; I'll give you mine on my pride as a thief. I will not steal anything while I recover."

Red X spent most of his time in the medical bay, or watching TV, for the first few days. The knife had not gone too deep, but it had done a fair amount of damage. The young man had been lucky to live. As he healed, he began to work out in the weight room, though he preferred to be alone. He didn't want to become attached to the people trying to send him to jail. Especially since Robin had taken away all his gadgets. Well, almost all. He had added a few things to the suit. Turning hero would ruin his street cred. Besides, he wasn't a hero.

"X? Can I talk to you?" Raven walked into the workout room to find the thief practicing acrobatics.

"What do you want?" He didn't even pause in his routine. Raven put out a hand and black energy caught him mid-flip and lowered him to the ground. "Alright, alright. What?"

"Why did you save Beastboy?" Of the Titans, Raven was the only one that hadn't spoken to Red X once.

"I slipped."

"Bullshit."

"Whoa! Language!" Raven narrowed her eyes. "Alright! Geez, relax. I took that knife because...I know what that clown did to him. At least, I think I do. I saw the way he looked at that lunatic." Raven walked closer.

"And how do you know anything about that?"

"Like I told your little boyfriend. That's a story for another time." Just then Robin's voice came out of Raven's communicator.

"Raven, get to the main room. Someone just dropped off a package at our door." Raven ran from the room, and Red X followed her, curious about the situation. When they reached the main room they found everyone gathered around a medium sized cardboard box. Cyborg was scanning it to look for bombs or other traps, and his scanners found none.

"Who's it from?" Beastboy knew that no one ever dropped off mail at Titan Tower unless they had a good reason.

"Don't know. But it isn't a bomb." Cyborg inspected the box.

"I guess we should open it." Robin stepped forward and slit the tape holding shut and pulled out a device that was similar to a TV. It was about one and a half feet tall and about a foot thick. He set it on the floor, and noticed the red button that said "push me". He shrugged and pushed it. The machine made a rattling noise and slowly raised itself on a tripod-type support and the black screen turned blue. Then the Joker appeared on screen.

"Hello, teenage crime fighters. I thought that since I haven't seen you in a while I would send a message. Especially for you, Beastie. I know our time together was brief, but it was magical." His eyes narrowed. "But apparently it wasn't effective enough. I just hate seeing all my hard work go to waste. Therefore, I decided to send you a movie since you like them so much. And don't bother trying to turn it off. You won't be able to." He cackled as the screen went dark.

"A movie?" Raven was confused. What could he possibly be talking about? The screen turned blue again and then a picture came on. It was Beastboy, tied to a chair, sawing through his bonds just as the men walked in. Raven ran to Beastboy as the video jumped forward to Beastboy being pummeled on the hook, then again to the whipping. Robin ran towards it.

"Turn it off! Cyborg, turn it off!" But nothing worked. The picture kept going, skipping to Beastboy naked on the table. The Joker looked directly at his hidden camera and smiled. Then he turned to his work, and began raping Beastboy. Beastboy collapsed to the ground, moaning and curling up into the fetal position while Raven tried to talk him out of it. Beastboy's recorded screams rang through the tower, and finally Red X had had enough. Just as the Joker picked up the pipe, he walked up to the machine and slapped an X onto it. The machine sparked and went dark.

"Beastboy! Beastboy, you're safe! You're here, not in that room! Beastboy!" Raven felt panic rising in her throat. Beastboy was whimpering like everything in that video had happened again. Robin joined Beastboy on the floor and grabbed his shoulders and shook them.

"_Beastboy!_" Beastboy's eyes were looking wildly around, unable to focus. Robin had an idea and ripped off his mask, revealing his blue eyes. "BEASTBOY!" Beastboy finally focused on Robin and threw himself into Robin's arms. He sobbed and let himself be rocked by his adopted brother. Red X stood awkwardly by the machine, watching the display. Robin looked at him over Beastboy's shoulder and mouthed "thank you". Red X shrugged and turned to walk away. He felt out of place but Cyborg stopped him.

"Hey man. I know you and the team don't always get along. But I need your help with this thing. I need to examine it, but I can't get it to open. You managed to turn it off, so maybe you can help. Help me." His human eye was sincere, and Red X nodded and went to examine the machine with the half robot. Robin managed to pull Beastboy to his feet and drag him to the couch where he sat with the green boy, still hugging him. Beastboy had calmed down a little, and he looked up to see tears in Robin's eyes. No one had ever seen Robin cry, because the boy hadn't cried since his parents died.

"Beastboy, I am so sorry. I know I've...said it before...but...I just...that video..." Beastboy hugged Robin harder as the leader of the team, Boy Wonder, was swallowed by his guilt.

* * *

><p>"This thing is incredible." Red X stared at the complex machine before him. He and Cyborg had been working for over an hour to break it open and it still refused to reveal its secrets. "Look, Cyborg. I need my stuff if I'm going to get it to open." Cyborg studied the thief.<p>

"You'll need to ask Robin for those. By the way, what did you use to short it out?" Red X shrugged.

"A prototype for taking _you_ down. My own creation. Boy Wonder didn't know about it, so he couldn't take it." He turned and left the room. Cyborg smiled and shook his head.

"Smart-ass."

Red X walked through the main room to find Raven and Beastboy sitting together on the couch together with Beastboy's head in Raven's lap. Raven caught his eye as he passed through and nodded at him. Red X had a vision of a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, and then it was gone. Beastboy never took his eyes off the TV, trying to block out the sounds of his own screams. Starfire wasn't in the room, and Red X figured she must be with Robin. He walked to Robin's room and knocked on the door. Starfire opened the door and gave him a tired, quizzical look.

"Yes, Red X? What do you require?" The alien girl looked back into the room as a voice floated out.

"Let him in, Star. I need to talk to him, anyway. Alone." Starfire nodded and left as Red X walked into the room. His stiches had started to ache again, but he knew it was from the stress of the night. "Hello, X." Red X was shocked by the state of the Titans' leader. His hair was unkempt, and his uniform was wrinkled. But what Red X noticed most were his still unmasked eyes. They were bloodshot and haunted from crying, and Red X was amazed that Robin had allowed a thief to see him without a mask.

"Hey kid. You look awful." Robin shrugged.

"How would you look if you let the one person you love as family gets kidnapped, tortured, and raped? And then forced to watch a video of it?" Robin sat on his bed, and Red X realized how young the boy was, not even eighteen.

"Actually, I looked about the same." Robin's head snapped up at that, but he didn't ask. "Look, kid. I need my tools to get that screen thing open. I know you have them, and I know you don't exactly trust me." Robin didn't respond. "Hey, I'm just trying to help. I owe you one for saving my life." Actually, that wasn't true, really. Red X considered the score even since he only got stabbed because he was saving Beastboy. But seeing his best foe in this state was making Red X feel the need to help him.

"Fine." He gestured to a set of drawers in the corner. "They're in there."

"Seriously? You didn't even lock them up?" Red X was incredulous. Robin smiled a ghost of his regular grin.

"I figured you would expect me to hide them in a safe somewhere, so the safest place for them would be somewhere you wouldn't think to look." Red X had to admit, it had worked. He would have never looked there. He collected what he needed and left the rest. He saw Robin's questioning look and shrugged. "I'm not leaving for a while, it seems. Besides, this suit now has secrets you don't know about." He turned to leave.

"Red X?" He paused at the door. "Who was it? Who did you lose?" Red X turned.

"Her name was Sarah. And I loved her. But I let her down, and now she's gone." Red X was shocked at his outburst. He hadn't told anyone about Sarah in years. But something about the sad boy in front of him made him feel like talking. "We were normal kids, she was a cheerleader and I was a gymnast. A good one, too. I was even a decent street fighter. But I wasn't enough to save her from those men." Robin was quiet as the thief sat next to him on the bed.

"X, what happened?"

"We were walking down the street. I loved her, and she loved me. I knew that we probably wouldn't be together forever since she would go to college without me, but I didn't care." He paused and took a deep breath. "They came out of nowhere. Two held my arms as another grabbed Sarah. She tried to scream, but they...persuaded her to stop." Red X reached up and slowly pulled off his mask. Red X's face was pale, and his hair was a dark blonde color that complimented his shocking gray eyes. But his main feature was a long scar that started over his right eye and traveled diagonally across the bridge of his nose, down his left cheek, stopping just below his cheekbone. He couldn't have been more than eighteen either.

"Oh my God. That's how they...persuaded her?" The boy nodded.

"They dragged her away and left me there in the street to die. The police found her a week later. Those..._animals _kept her for days then left her on the side of the road without some much as taxi money. She had the same look in her eyes that your little friend has now. But I couldn't help her like you helped Beastboy. She went catatonic and now lives in a nuthouse without a single original thought. Not even about me." Robin put an uncertain hand on Red X's shoulder, and the young thief snapped out of it. "So now you know my sad story. That's why I try to live my own way, no attachments, and no friends. Just looking out for number one." Red X stood and walked to the door again, only to stop _again_ as Robin spoke.

"I think the only person you can't fool with that act is you." Red X turned as Robin stood and walked to him. "You sure fooled me. But now, I see a boy who lost someone. I can relate to that. But you don't have to hide from us anymore." Red X's gray eyes turned towards Robin.

"Why not?"

"Because...we're your friends now. You are a good person at heart, I can tell. We haven't always seen eye to eye, and maybe we won't again. But for now, we're your friends."

"Thanks, kid. Thanks, Robin."

**Ok, I finally did it. I finished this chapter. I really like Red X the way he is, so don't worry, he won't change completely. Thanks to GaraHinataWake for the suggestion to watch some episodes. It was EXTREMELY helpful. And thanks to BBlove1004 for the video idea. You both really helped me finish this chapter. Reviews are most welcome. Any ideas you ask about will probably find their way in somehow, so go for it. So, til next time. Hopefully sooner than this last chapter...**


	8. Protect Me

**Before the chapter starts, I just want to say that this story is more popular than I ever thought it would be, so thanks readers! A very, very, very special thanks to BBlove1004 for all your help so far. I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story, and without further ado, here goes the chapter.**

_Garfield was on a boat with his parents, loving people who didn't care that their son was a green changeling. They had anchored near a waterfall and were doing some kind of research, but six-year-old Garfield was more interested in his recently discovered powers. He was messing around as a monkey when the boat was hit by something and was dislodged from its anchor. The boat was slammed again, and Garfield could see something in the water, turning it to a froth. The waterfall came closer. His parents were screaming, screaming for him to fly to shore. _

_"Gar, turn into a bird! Fly to shore! We'll be alright!"_

_"Mom! No, I don't want to leave you!" Garfield was crying._

_"Gar, we love you. We'll be fine. Just go!" Garfield turned into a macaw and flew to shore, turning back to his human form just as the boat fell over the waterfall. The young boy screamed for his parents, unable to comprehend what just happened._

* * *

><p>"MOM! DAD!" Beastboy shot up in bed, waking Raven. He looked around and realized where he was. His room was dark except for his night light, the one Starfire had given him years ago for his birthday. He passed a hand over his face and felt the tears.<p>

"Beastboy? What happened?" Raven was also crying. She and Beastboy had been sleeping together so when his nightmare started it leaked into her mind as well. Her tears were his tears since the emotions she felt in the dream were his. "What happened to them?" She sat up with Beastboy and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I can't...I can't tell you." Beastboy refused to meet her eyes.

"Beastboy, you can tell me anything." She waited in silence as Beastboy gathered his thoughts.

"I can't tell you...because then you will know it was my fault. I should have saved them from that thing in the water. I should have turned into a pterodactyl and carried them to safety! I could have saved them!" Raven pulled him closer and he leaned into her. "Why didn't I save them?" Raven held him as he cried over his memories.

"Beastboy, it wasn't your fault. You can't change what happened, no matter how guilty you feel." Raven turned Beastboy's face to hers. "Why are you having this dream now? You haven't before."

"Two nights ago, when that fake Joker sent that...thing to us, and Red X shut it down...When I had that melt down, it opened a part of my memory that I thought I had closed forever. The memory of that day, that thing attcking the boat, the abrupt stop of the screams. I hid that away so I wouldn't have to remember my guilt. But it's back." He drew a deep but shaky breath. Raven pulled him back down to the bed so they were lying face to face.

"It wasn't your fault. You need to realize that, Gar. You were so young." She said his real name softly. She knew that the team knew Beastboy's name, but they never called him by it.

"Raven, if you knew what I've done...what I did before I joined the Titans...you wouldn't want to be near me." He stared into her purple eyes.

"Gar, I almost caused the world to end because I believed that I was evil, because I refused to believe that maybe...maybe I could change." She paused and put a hand on the side of Beastboy's face. "But you...you don't need to change, because you haven't done anything wrong. You never hurt anyone. Whatever you've done...you have to move on." Beastboy knew she was wrong, but deep down, he hoped she was right.

"I love you Raven." It was the first time since the day he told his team what the Joker had done to him that he had told Raven he loved her. Raven pulled him closer and kissed him, softly at first, and then more passionately as he opened his mouth to the kiss. When they parted, not another word was said.

* * *

><p>Cyborg was making waffles when Raven and Beastboy joined him in the kitchen. Although she would never admit it to the robot, Raven loved waffles. Cyborg greeted them warmly.<p>

"Yo, B.B.! You're here before Star and Robin? Raven's a good influence." He winked at his best friend who just blushed. He had just served his two friends when they were joined by the now unmasked Red X. He walked to the fridge to find something to eat when Cyborg called him over.

"What? Do you need something?" Red X, though still welcome at the tower, had a hard time believing that the people he had been running from could really be his friends. As for remaining unmasked, he just told himself that since their leader had seen his face it was pointless. At least in the Tower.

"Uh...no. Besides an explanation as to why you would rather eat something cold out of the fridge by yourself than fresh waffles with us!" Cyborg was willing to forgive and forget for a little while, something Red X was surprised by.

"I...uh..." The thief was silenced by the plate of waffles Cyborg shoved in his hands. "Um...thanks." He took a seat next to Beastboy who just smiled at him from his own plate. Raven sat next to Beastboy enjoying her own breakfast when Robin and Starfire walked in. Cyborg waved them over and gave them waffles. If anyone was surprised at Red X's presence at the table, they didn't say it. Truthfully, they had gotten used to having the guy around, and with his unmasked face exposed, it was hard to hate him. They played video games, lifted weights, and sparred together. Red X felt drawn to the shapeshifter, felt a need to make sure he didn't fail him like he failed Sarah. Not that he was planning to turn to the light completely.

Beastboy was still shaken up about the video from the other night and his dream about his parents, something that Robin noticed. He was about to ask when Raven gave him a look that said to leave it alone. Just then the alarms went off in the tower. Robin ran to the moniters to see who their opponent was, and was surprised to find it was Kitten robbing a bank with her spider-headed boyfriend, Fang.

"It's Kitten again." Robin said sheepishly. This sent Starfire off in a tirade against the spoiled rich girl, much of it in Tamarainian. They all watched her for a second, then Robin commanded attention again. "Alright, let's go." Beastboy shifted nervously.

"Um...is it alright if I...stay here?" Beastboy didn't want to go anywhere today. His emotions were so jumbled and confused he couldn't shift into anything. "I can't...shift." He was so embarassed that he couldn't get his emotions under control. But Robin just nodded, hugged him, and moved out with the rest of the Titans. Red X stayed behind as well, not wanting to join in the fight against a fellow criminal. Beastboy walked to the couch and turned the TV on. Red X studied the boy for a moment before joining him.

"THis might be too personal...but why can't you change?" Beastboy didn't respond to the thief at first. Red X waited patiently.

"My shifting ability is linked to my emotions as well as my thoughts. When my head is clear, and not confused, I can change. Depending what mood I'm in, I can change into different animals. But right now, I can't change because...everytime I try to focus, certain thoughts find their way in. They distract me. Guilt and shame and uncertainty, those are the worst." He fell quiet and flipped through the channels again. Suddenly he turned to Red X. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure. Ask away. Doesn't mean I'll answer it." Beastboy gave him a look. "Fine, you get one question. But not about my real name."

"Fair enough. I just want to know...Why are you staying us? You are healed. You could leave right now and continue your life of crime. Why don't you?" Beastboy studied the scarred face of Red X as he thought about the question.

"I guess...it's because you remind me of someone. In a really weird way. I can't explain why, but I feel the need to...protect you, save my conscience because I couldn't save her." Red X sat quietly, deciding his next move. He decided he may as well share his story with the green boy. So he told Beastboy the same story he told Robin. He waited for Beastboy's reaction. The green boy sat deep in thought for awhile. Red x chimed in. "I guess I just have a problem with people who rape an innocent. I always will, no matter how far down I push my memories."

"So...you're helping me because you feel like maybe if you can 'save me'-"

"Protect you. Difference."

"Whatever. 'Protect me', you can ease your guilt at not protecting Sarah? I guess that makes sense in a weird way..." They sat in silence as the TV droned on about the amazing blanket with sleeves.

"But don't think I'm 'turning to the light' because I'm still a thief, and as soon as this is over, I'm going back to my life as it was." Red X stood up to leave.

"Hey, X. I know you won't change forever. But, since you're here now...I have a story to tell you." Beastboy related the story of his parents to Red X. Although the young thief was not the person Beastboy would have thought he'd tell, Red X was a good listener. Plus, who better to relate the source of his to than a criminal? He finished his sad tale. "Do you...do you think that I should have died with them?" That was the million dollar question. Red X sat in thought.

"I think you were young, and your parents loved you. They loved you so much they would rather be sure you were safe than worry about their own lives. If I had someone like that, I would just be grateful for the time we did have together than regret the time we didn't get." He stood to walk away. All this talk made him sad. But the soft voice behind him stopped Red X in his tracks.

"I hope you're right."

"Only you can decide that." Red X left the room as Beastboy mulled over his words.

**Ok, so not an update, really. Just exploring the Red X/Beastboy relationship. Read and review. Especially review. Thanks! Pardon any spelling/grammar errors.**


	9. Perfect Day

**Ok, avid readers. Welcome back. I am on a bit of a roll, de-stressing from exams. As I said in the last chapter, this will be more storyline-oriented. And...oh yeah. BBlove1004 is awesome. That is all.**

Red X checked his clock. It was in the early hours of the morning, a little past three. He was sneaking out of the tower, leaving the Titans, tonight. Red X was worried about how attached he was getting to these heros. The Joker hadn't shown any signs for weeks, and the thief was feeling smothered. He didn't want to change his life, which is what Robin obviously wanted. He just couldn't, theft was in his blood. It always would be. He had collected his gadgets the night before from Robin's room when the Titans were out fighting someone. He packed his few spare belongings; a scarf Starfire had knitted him (a scarf? like he'd ever wear it), the book of dark poetry from Raven, one of Robin's throwing birds (stolen), and a communicator he had also stolen. He firgured that having it would be a good way to keep track of the Titans if they were about to come after him.

He walked through the dark tower towards the door, walking quietly so he wouldn't wake anyone. Obviously not quietly enough though.

"Where are you off to?" Robin leaned casually against the breakfast counter. Red X sighed.

"I'm leaving."

"Yeah, I figured that part out. But where are you going?" Robin walked over to his old opponent.

"Don't worry, I'll be around. I need Xenothium every now and then." Robin chuckled.

"I look forward to it. Just do me a favor." Robin handed Red X his mask. He put it on.

"And what would that be?" His masked eyes were in an amused expression.

"Keep an eye out for Beastboy. I don't think that fake Joker is gone, and Beastboy will need all of us."

"And how am I supposed to keep track of your friend if I leave?"

"How about with the communicator you stole." Robin smirked at Red X's surprised reaction. "Don't worry, you can keep it. I won't deactivate it. Just don't let every criminal you meet use it."

"Yeah, ok, kid. I'll keep an ear open for Beastboy. But don't think this means I won't return to my life of crime." He studied the Titans' leader who just shrugged.

"Who am I to tell you how to live your life? Not that I won't try from time to time. Good bye, Red X. You are always welcome here if you need a place to stay."

"See ya, kid." And he was gone.

* * *

><p>The fake Joker sat in the same warehouse he tortured Beastboy in. He truly believed he was the Joker, the after-effect of his schizophrenia. Once the Joker learned about him, he sent him momentos of his crimes, wrote him long letters detailing his thoughts and plans for the world, everything he needed to feed his psychosis. But the new Joker had one thing that the old one lacked. The new Joker had a taste for money and power, things the original Joker had little use for. The new Joker wanted to destroy the Titans so he could commit as many crimes and get as much money as he possibly could, whereas the original Joker just wanted to watch the world burn.<p>

"It seems that little Beastie has some old secrets, some guilt, that are eating him up." He paced in front of his moniters as his new henchmen watched. "Maybe I need to take a different approach. Obviously his friendships were too strong for my first attempt to work. That is something I will never underestimate again. Though I may be able to use that to my advantage. If Beastie thinks his friends are no longer really his friends...well, add that to his guilt, augmented by me...I amy not even to lift a knife to him. And without Beastie, the bird boy will be broken. Two birds with one stone! Ha! Get it? Of course not. I don't hire you to understand."

The henchmen watched him warily, like they would watch a rabid wolf. They didn't know what their new boss's plans were, but even they felt sorry for little green crime fighter.

"The thief left the Tower, too. Good, just one less distraction, though his identity remains a mystery to even me! But I can't blame him. Anonomous criminals are harder to catch. Like me! Ha!" Of course, what the Joker didn't remember was that the Titans did know _his_ name, even if the real Joker's identity was never revealed.

"Uh...boss? What's the plan?" One brave henchman spoke up. The Joker narrowed his eyes in the man's direction, debating wheter or not he should kill him. But then he smiled and laughed.

"Why, I'm a clown. Clowns make people have fun. So I think it's time Beastie visited the funhouse." He grinned evilly as his goons tried to decipher what he meant. "After I'm through with Beastie, that bird boy and his friends won't be able to stop me. They'll be too busy picking up the pieces, and I'll run this place. I'll, um, _we'll_ live like kings with all the stolen money you can want."

* * *

><p>"Beastboy, focus!" Raven hurled tennis balls at Beastboy with her powers, one after another in rapid-fire style. He dodged most of them, but two found their mark.<p>

"It's hard to focus when you're out here." Beastboy loved flirting with the somber Raven, and though she secretly liked it, it was distracting during combat practice.

"Oh really?" She frowned as the tennis balls flew even faster, many hitting their mark as Beastboy squealed. He turned into an elephant and barreled through barrage and right before he reached Raven he turned back into his human form. He kept his momentum up and scooped her up in his arms, spinning her around while she laughed.

"Put me down! Put me down, Beastboy!" But she was smiling. Raven had never been happier. The Titans' friendship had never been stronger, and she had the love of the important person in her life. The green boy that made her laugh had made it his mission to make her laugh everyday. "Seriously, we nedd to prac-" She was cut off by the kiss Beastboy planted on her lips. It was one of those rare days when the sun was shining, the city didn't need saving and everything was perfect.

"How many more tennis balls do I have to dodge before-" The alarms sounded through the tower, and suddenly their perfect day was over. They both rushed downstairs to find the rest of the team in the garage. Starfire, Raven, and Beastboy piled into the T-Car with Cyborg while Robin rode on his motorcycle. They drove in silence to the center of Jump City and they saw the reason for the alarms. Mad Mod had unleashed an army of robots that looked like him on the city. They were wreaking havoc on anything that got in their way as Mad Mod stood in the middle of the street laughing and yelling in his British accent. Somehow he had gotten his youth back, and escaped from prison, making him a potentially dangerous opponent.

"Alright Titans, go!" Robin led the charge towards the rampaging robots, but Mad Mod wasn't going down without a fight.

"Hello, Duckies!" Mad Mod sounded like a drunk Beatle. "Nice of you to drop by, but I think you may want to reconsider messing with your elders!" He pointed his red-jeweled cane at the rushing Titans.

The robots turned their attention to the crime fighters and attacked them all at once. Cyborg blasted them and threw even the big ones like javelins. Robin used his bowstaff and bombs to take out others. Starfire shot star bolts and all around demolished her share of robots. Raven used her black powers to smash robots together and throw things at them. But one got a shot in at her and she flew into a building and continued through to the other side. She landed hard on the other side, only to followed by a large Mad Mod-bot and she couldn't focus through her pain to stop the robot. She had probably broken a few ribs and received a concussion. The robot raised an arm to blast her when it was rammed by a flash of green. It was Beastboy in the form of a green bull. He trampled the robot into submission then morphed into his human form. He ran over to Raven and examined her injuries with concerned eyes. Raven felt the strength of his love and concern rolling off him waves, and she felt safe.

Suddenly a man walking past reached out with some sort of black device, but Raven was so dizzy she couldn't warn Beastboy. The man touched the device to side of Beastboy's neck, making him arch his back as the electrical current raced through his system. He fell to the ground next to Raven and looked up at the man. "You..." It was the man from the warehouse. Beastboy blacked out. The man grinned and reached down to snap on a black collar identical to the one he had used before to subdue the shapeshifter.

"Why...why are you doing this?" Raven tried to stand but sank back down as the dizziness increased ten-fold. She had to save Beastboy, but she could barely move. She fought with the blackness closing in on her vision.

"The boss wants to talk your little friend again. Time to go." He picked up Beastboy and waved for a car parked across the street to come pick them up. He threw Beastboy in the back of the car and got in the passenger side. "Oh, and give this to Robin." He threw a letter out the window and it landed on Raven. She grasped it as they drove away with her boyfriend. She looked around, still hearing the sounds of the battle going on the other side of the building. She noticed her communicator lying a few feet away, and she dragged herself slowly and painfully towards it as a small crowd gathered. She managed to hit the panic button as she passed out.

**Muahahahaha cliffhanger! Enjoy, and feel free to speculate on what's going to happen next. Until next time, review!**


	10. This Used to be a Funhouse

**FINALLY THE UPLOADER IS WORKING AGAIN! I would have had this up sooner, but it wasn't working. Oh well, thanks to some sleep and coffee, I can now write the next chapter. Read and review. Especially review. Ideas are always welcome. Thank you.**

Raven woke in the medical bay of the Tower and immediately tried to sit up, only to be gently pushed back down by Robin. And the wave of nausea.

"Robin, he has Beastboy! The Joker has Beastboy! I tried to get up, but I couldn't! And my powers...I couldn't focus...He has him!" Raven was starting to panic and her eyes threatened to over flow with tears. "I...There was a letter! Did you get it?"

"Yes, we got it."

"What does it say?" Robin sighed, and Raven finally noticed the tired slump of his shoulder. "Robin, how long was I out?"

"A few hours. You were pretty badly injured, but with your healing abilities you've healed the worst already." Robin stood up. "Can you walk? We need to talk with the rest of the team." He helped her stand and they walked into the main room together. Robin retrieved the letter from the table and handed it to Raven. Her eyes widened as she read it.

_Dear teenage crime fighters,_

_Little Beastie is with me, and you won't find him until I'm ready for you to find him. He has been very naughty in the past, and he must pay for his crimes. My purpose for taking him is to determine his guilt in several matters which he hid from you, his "friends". Then I guarantee he will die, though not by my hand if all goes well. And Robin, remember, everything I do, I do for you. I hope you can find it in your heart to go on. _

_-J_

"Oh my God! He's going to kill Beastboy!" Raven's emotions spiked and blew up one of the computers. Cyborg caught her as she collapsed and pulled her into a hug. Robin shook his head.

"No, he said that if he had his way, Beastboy would kill himself."

"But friend Beastboy is happy and joyful and not the kind of person who would do such a thing." Starfire didn't think that Beastboy had anything to be sad enough about to kill himself since he seemed so much better.

"There are things you don't know about Beastboy. Things about his past that he hid from us. From me. But I found out about some of them since nothing can remain a secret forever." Robin hung his head. Raven thought back to the story her boyfriend had told her about his parents. He had felt so guilty about that, it was a pulsing black guilt deep in his memories.

"It doesn't matter! We need to find him before the Joker can torture him!" Raven broke away from Cyborg and made a move towards the door, only to grimace as the nausea rolled over her again.

"Whoa, whoa you aren't going anywhere, Raven. You're better, but you aren't fully healed yet." Cyborg caught her as she swayed. Raven felt her emotions bubbling up again.

"Why aren't you out there looking for him? Why aren't you trying to find him, or clues, something? Anything!" Her voice raised as the toaster exploded. Robin raised his voice too.

"Don't you think we are looking? We looked for hours, but we wanted to be here when you woke up! Every honorary Titan we could spare is out there looking for him, checking every building, alley, everything we can think of! We're trying, so calm down and stop blowing shit up!" He stared defiantly at the dark Titan. Raven was angry, but she forced herself to calm down. Her leader was right. She needed to be thinking clearly if she were to find her love. She could blow up the whole tower if her emotions got the best of her.

"I'm sorry. Have you found anything? Any clues?" Robin shook his head sadly.

"Nothing. We don't even know where to look. We've looked everywhere, even the warehouse I found Beastboy in. Someone had obviously been there recently, but they were gone. We have no leads, no clues, and no suspects." Robin's voice was sad but determined. "I can't believe I let that freak take Beastboy again!" He slammed his fist into the wall, or at least tried to, but Starfire caught his arm with her alien strength.

"Robin! Do not damage yourself! Beastboy will need you whole and safe to find him." Her green eyes were more serious than they had ever been.

"Ok. Let's go find him."

* * *

><p>Red X snuck easily into the technology lab at the university. Ever since he had found that collar in Robin's roombattle station, something had been bugging him. Only a technological genius that also had extensive knowledge of brainwaves and animals could have made it. When his stolen communicator suddenly lit up with call from Titans all over the world, they were all looking for Beastboy. Though Red X had sworn to return to his life of crime, he couldn't let Beastboy be lost to the Joker. Not when he might be able to save him.

The man's name was Dr. Mark. That's the name he gave to his students, but no one knew his real name. Mark was a technological genius with degrees from different universities in computer science, engineering, zoology, and neurology. All under different names. He currently taught a computer science course at the local community college, but it was a cover for his true career. For a price, he could make just about any technological device from a laser to a computer virus, to a collar that interrupts brainwaves through electrical shock. Red X knew of him from second-hand stories about the destruction he was rumored to have caused in every city he had ever lived in, and right now his was in Jump City. He was the only person capable of creating that collar, and that TV-device. Red X had decided maybe he should have a look around.

Universities have good security outside. The police are always on patrol and there are a surprising amount of security guards on school grounds. But once inside one of the academic buildings, security is the bare minimum, sometimes lower. Red X knew this going in, and used it to his advantage until he reached the long forgotten basement lab. He could see Mark inside, working on something. He walked in casually, relishing the look of surprise on the genius's face.

"Hello, Dr. Mark. Pleasure to meet you." His skull mask would have been smiling if the mouth were uncovered. "I've heard stories about you and your little..._inventions." _The man backed away uncertainly. He was a genius and he enjoyed selling his inventions for purposes he knew would hurt. But he was a coward inside, relying on others to use his inventions. However, at the moment Mark figured he was safe under the Joker's protection.

"And I've heard about your adventures as well, Red X. You _are_ Red X, aren't you?" He tried to sound confident and dangerous, but he failed. He was just an average looking guy with average fighting skills. They had always seemed so impractical. "What can I do for you?" Red X strolled over to a table where another black collar was taking shape under a large magnifying lens.

"A friend of mine was found with one of these around his neck. I thought you might know something about it." He twirled to face Mark. "Looks like I was right." Mark backed away from the advancing thief. He reached behind him for a gun only to have it knocked from his hand by a red x.

"You...you can't touch me! I'm a friend of the Joker! You don't want to mess with him!" Red X just laughed.

"Believe me, he is the _first_ person I want to mess with." Red X pinned Mark against a wall. "Now smile for the camera." He snapped a photo with the Teen Titans communicator (yes, they have cameras) and sent it to Robin.

"Wait a second! Did you just send that to-" He was cut off by Red X's punch to the face.

"Be quiet. Robin? Robin, come in. Seriously, Robin!"

"What?" Robin's voice was strained.

"I found the man that made that collar for Beastboy. Send Raven the picture I sent you. It matches the description she gave to everyone."

"You've been listening in then? Fine, I'll show her, hold on." The pause stretched for several moments. Then Raven's voice was heard.

"That's him! Red X, how did you find him?"

"Sometimes you got to be a criminal to find one. Meet me in the technology lab at the community college. The one in the basement." He flipped the communicator shut. Then he picked up the already awakening Mark. "I need some answers, and you better give them to me before the Titans get here."

"Why?" Mark stared at the thief. "Because once they get here they'll save me from you?" Red X chuckled evilly.

"No, because when they get here, you'll wish I was the only one you had to worry about."

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, right after his capture and during the previous scene...<em>

Beastboy woke lying in a dark room and his hand flew to his neck, only to be shocked away by the black collar that once again resided there. Emotions hit him like waves in a hurricane: fear, confusion, pain, and something else. Everything seemed wrong. His head was spinning, and yet every sense felt heightened at the same time. Then he heard _his_ voice.

"Hello, Beastie. Good to see you again." Beastboy's blood ran cold, like ice water was running through his veins. "I know we left things on a bad note." He walked up to Beastboy and hauled him to his feet. He trailed his hands down Beastboy's uniformed chest, then ripped the shirt off, revealing the dark green scars standing out on his lighter green skin. "Ah, yes. We left things on a _very_ bad note." He paused. "What, no jokes? No funny one-liners? No comeback? Nothing? Well it's a good thing I brought you to the Funhouse." The lights turned on and Beastboy found himself in what could only be described as...a funhouse. An old one, full of dust and spiders with chunks of plaster falling from the roof. The room they were in was filled with wax sculptures of clowns, ringmasters, and circus freaks. They all looked evil, with twisted smiles, broken limbs, and grasping hands.

"Funhouse? Why...what do you want from me?" Beastboy repressed his memories as the Joker began to grope him. After a minute though, the older man released the young shape shifter.

"As much I would love a round two, I have new plans for you. You have been injected with a serum similar to truth serum. But instead of making you tell the truth, it will cause you to hallucinate about your greatest guilty fears, and they will feel so real you won't be able to tell reality from what you see. You know, I guess it actually isn't like truth serum." He cackled. "Oh, and an unfortunate side effect of the serum is its ability to make sane people become suicidal. Even if you make it through each room, you won't make it out alive." Then he was gone, leaving Beastboy alone with the creepy figures.

In the corner of the room was a door, and Beastboy was about to run for it when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Terra.

***Side note: In this world, Terra is still frozen in rock because I hated the way they ended with her in the show. Just go with it. Back to the story.***

Beastboy recoiled as if he had been bitten by a snake. He shut his eyes and tried to block out her image. "It's not real, it's not real! She isn't here!" He felt the hand on his arm again, and he opened his eyes to look at her. And then he wished he hadn't.

Her skin was pale, almost white, like paper. Her eyes were haunted and sunk into her head. But that wasn't the worst part. Her left side was still completely encased in stone, her hand missing two fingers. Her face was the only thing spared.

"Beastboy." She stepped closer, dragging her left side. "Why...?"

"What do you mean?" Beastboy looked into the eyes of the girl he used to like. Suddenly she struck him across the face so hard he flew across the room.

"Why do you think I'm not real?" She walked towards him, glowing yellow as she prepared to use her powers. "I'd say I'm pretty damn real, wouldn't you?" She kicked him in the side. In reality, Beastboy was hallucinating, but in his mind it was so real that his body was reacting to Terra as if she were really hitting him. The drug reached his brain stem. It was then that he lost touch with reality.

"Terra? How did you-"

"DON'T EVEN ASK!" She kicked him again with her right foot. "How could you do this to me? I tried to tell you but you couldn't forgive me! Now I'm stuck like this, half stone half girl. _How could you?_" She hissed. Beastboy tried to change, but was shocked as his brainwaves were interrupted.

"It wasn't my fault! You joined Slade on your own!" But Terra wasn't done with him.

"Why do you think I left with him that night? You said you would always be my friend. No matter what! But you abandoned me!" Every word was a dagger in Beastboy's heart because every word she said echoed his feelings of guilt. He had long questioned whether it was his fault she was frozen in stone.

"No...NO! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't..." He trailed off. She snorted.

"Ha! Not your fault! If you had stayed and helped me that night I wouldn't have gone with Slade! I could have stayed with you and the Titans and been a hero and still beautiful! But NO! You just couldn't accept that I made a mistake. And now because of you, I'm stuck like this! I can't run, I can't dance, I can't fight! It hurts to be made of stone, did you know that?" Beastboy curled up in the fetal position, trying to block out her voice. But it came from inside his head. She continued. "It hurts to have every atom in your body suddenly change composition from soft human flesh to hard ugly stone. And I underwent that for you! And now I come back to find you with another girl? You said you'd save me! But you didn't even visit me! You came one time, only to tell me about your feelings _for Raven_!" Beastboy couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP!" He dissolved into tears as Terra laughed cruelly and delivered her last barb.

"Do me a favor, and just die." Then she was gone. Beastboy laid on the ground with his eyes squeezed shut, Terra's voice still ringing in his ears.

"It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault..." He repeated it over and over, but deep down he didn't believe it anymore. The drug working its way through his system was doing its job well, and Beastboy could feel a hate building inside him. Suddenly he heard a door open, and he looked up to see the door in the corner was now open. He stood to walk to it when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. The clowns with the evil smiles were watching him. He ran for the door and it slammed shut behind him. The Joker watched his hidden cameras with devilish glee.

Beastboy was in now in the hall of mirrors. Every wall was covered in mirrors of all kinds: ones that make people look thin, fat, short, tall, even distorted. The room was a maze of mirrors. Beastboy started walking when he suddenly saw a woman in one of the mirrors. She had brown hair, tanned skin, and pretty green eyes.

"Mom?" Beastboy touched the glass. "Mom, is that you?" She nodded sadly. Beastboy felt the tears spilling from his eyes again. "Mom, I've missed you so much." A man appeared in the mirror next to her. "Dad? Why are you guys here?" They were soaking wet, and looked like they hadn't slept since the day they died. They just stared at him with their somber, sullen eyes. Beastboy stepped back. "Please! Talk to me! Please!" When they spoke, they spoke in monotone unison.

"What do you want us to say? Why do you care? You left us to die on that boat. You didn't even try to save us." They stared at him with accusing eyes. Beastboy sank to his knees in front of them.

"But you told me to leave! I wanted to save you! But...I was so young and you told me to go..."

"So you decided to save your own life instead of trying to save ours? We made you. We saved _your_ life when that monkey bit you. You owed us everything, but you let us drown." The way his parents spoke together was like something out of a horror movie. "You never loved us!"

"No! No, that's not true! I regret every day that I didn't save you!" The tears streaming down his face increased.

"You should have died with us that day. But you didn't, and it's your fault we died." Beastboy got up and started running through the maze, but his parents were in every mirror, yelling "It was your fault! All your fault!" over and over again as he ran. He came to a dead end and crumbled under the stares of his hallucinated parents. "You know it was your fault. You could have saved us, couldn't you? ANSWER US!"

"YES! OK? I SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO SAVE YOU! I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT!" He paused and sobbed. "I should have...I should have..." He couldn't say it. If he admitted that to himself...

"Say it. SAY IT!" They yelled at their son.

"I SHOULD HAVE DIED WITH YOU THAT DAY, OK? ARE YOU HAPPY?" He sobbed out his guilt on the dirty floor as his parents chanted "Your fault!". By this time, the serum had completely saturated his brain and everything was fuzzy. It had heightened his fears, which for Beastboy, were all linked to his past. His sat up and looked at his parents. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"You killed us. Then you committed crimes." They stared at him.

"No...I mean I did, but the men who took me after you died made me do it! They hit me and beat me and-" His parents cut him off.

"Excuses will get you nowhere. You committed crimes and when your friends find out, they'll hate you like we hate you! You should have died with us, and for that we can never forgive you."

"Please, Mom! Dad! What can I do to make things right? Please! I'll do anything!" He looked at his parents through his tears. His mother held out her hand and in it was a scalpel. "Mom...please..." Beastboy whispered. But in his drugged mind, the idea was growing on him. He reached for it but was stopped by the surface of the mirror. At his touch, his parents disappeared and the wall swung open as a hidden door. Beastboy looked at his wrists, then dragged himself forward into the next room.

The last room was dark except for a single table, bathed in light. On the table lay a scalpel. Beastboy walked forward and stopped just short of the table. The voices ran through his mind.

"It hurts to be made of stone!"

"You should have died that day!"

"Do me a favor and just die!"

His mother held out a scalpel.

"No..." Beastboy backed up. He felt the same way now that he did when Robin was stitching up his wounds that day. He needed to remember something. But what was it? He couldn't remember. He bumped into something, something warm. He turned and was greeted by the masked face of Robin. "Robin? You found-" His initial joy was interrupted by Robin's swift kick.

"How could you lie to me?" His voice was hard, even more serious than usual. "You stole things, intimidated people, and killed your parents!"

"Robin...please, no! I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you'd hate me!" He tried to touch Robin's shoulder, but the boy jerked away.

"Yeah? Well you were right. You're off the team, and I never want to see you again. As far as I'm concerned, you're as bad as any other criminal." Robin turned and walked away. Beastboy tried to follow him, but his adopted brother vanished through the wall. In his current state, not even that seemed wrong to Beastboy. The green boy started shaking uncontrollably. Terra, then his parents, now Robin. They all hated him, and the worst thing was...he felt that they were right. He'd be better off dead. Beastboy turned back to the scalpel.

* * *

><p>The Joker sat in his command center, which was actually the old electric room for the ancient funhouse. He was watching the boy on the screen as he inched his way towards the scalpel on the table. The fake Joker had once again killed most of his hired help, except for two guards on either exit. And that little technology guy. The Joker never knew when one of those collars would come in handy.<p>

"Well, finally Beastie. Your serum is about done, though it is at its most effective right before it wears off." He sat back to watch to watch the show. "I can only imagine what he saw. Ha!" Suddenly his chair was yanked out from underneath him and he crashed to the floor. He leapt up and faced his adversary only to take a roundhouse kick to the face. The evil clown fell unconscious to the floor as his assailant ran out of the room.

* * *

><p>Beastboy picked up the scalpel.<p>

"You didn't try to save us!"

"You abandoned me!"

"As far as I'm concerned, you're as bad as any other criminal."

The blade was shiny and inviting, promising him an end to his pain. His brain's messages were firing too fast, making rational thinking impossible.

The blade twinkled in the light.

He lowered it to his right wrist, and trailed it down his forearm without cutting.

"All your fault."

"_All your fault!"_

"ALL YOUR FAULT!"

He closed his eyes and positioned the scalpel. "Goodbye, Raven."

Beastboy felt someone tackle him and the shiny blade went flying, skittering across the floor.

"Beastboy! What are you doing?" His assailant was dressed in head-to-toe black with a ragged black cape. An X adorned his chest and his skull mask.

"Red X?" Beastboy stared in disbelief at the thief.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me for ending the chapter this way. Reviews please! <strong>


	11. Evil Clowns

**Thanks for the patience while I struggled with my internet. Anyways, thanks for the review, and thanks to all the people who have followed the story so far.**

_"Beastboy, what are you doing?"_

_"Red X?"_

Red X looked down at the smaller boy beneath him. His green torso was exposed, and he was shaking badly. Red X didn't even want to think about what Beastboy would have done if he had been a second later.

"Beastboy! What the hell were you thinking?" Beastboy started to struggle.

"Get off me! I have to do it! To make everyone happy!" Beastboy was too weak to break free from the larger boy, so he stopped and started sobbing. "Why? Why won't you let me go? I have to do it!"

"Why? Why do you need to kill yourself?" Red X noticed Beastboy's dilated pupils. "Beastboy, what did the clown give you?" Beastboy looked confused as he tried to remember.

"He gave me...um...he gave me..." Beastboy knew that he needed to remember this. It was important. "He gave me...something." He remembered that much. Beastboy squeezed his eyes shut. Instantly he saw the ghosts of the last few hours. But he forced his brain, now coming out the grasps of the drug, to focus on what happened before. Then he remembered.

_"As much I would love a round two, I have new plans for you. You have been injected with a serum similar to truth serum. But instead of making you tell the truth, it will cause you to hallucinate about your greatest guilty fears, and they will feel so real you won't be able to tell reality from what you see. You know, I guess it actually isn't like truth serum." He cackled. "Oh, and an unfortunate side effect of the serum is its ability to make sane people become suicidal. Even if you make it through each room, you won't make it out alive."_

Beastboy gasped and tried to struggle away from Red X again. "You aren't real! You aren't real!"

"What? Of course I'm real. What are you talking about?" Red X struggled to keep Beastboy down. He didn't want the boy to go for the knife again.

"He gave a drug to make me hallucinate and lose touch with reality so I would think everything was real! And I did! But now I remember that you're not really here!" Red X was shocked. He released Beastboy and sat back as the green boy dissolved into tears. Red X pulled off his cape and wrapped it around the trembling boy's shoulders. Beastboy hesitated, and then pulled the warm fabric closer.

"Beastboy, I'm real. The drug must be wearing off since you have a higher metabolism than a regular human." Beastboy turned his tear-stained face towards the seated thief. "If the drug were still working, you wouldn't be able to remember that everything else you saw wasn't real." Beastboy thought for a moment, and then he surprised the thief. Beastboy threw himself at Red X and wrapped his arms around the thief, crying uncontrollably. Red X uncertainly put his arms around the boy, then held him tighter. "Beastboy, what did you see?"

"Not what...who. I saw...the people I killed." Red X was silent, not wanting to believe that the trembling boy in his arms would kill anyone. "I saw Terra...and my parents." Red X already knew the story of Beastboy's parents, and he had heard about the earth-mover, Terra. She was still talked about in the shadows of the villain world. "I-I killed them, Red. It was all my f-fault. They told me so, and they were so real."

"Beastboy, you didn't kill them. It wasn't your fault. You know that, you just have to look deeper into your heart." Beastboy sniffled.

"But...they weren't the only ones I saw. I saw...Robin. He knew about my past, and he...he said he hated me. That I was no better than any other criminal. I think...that hurt even more than anything else." He had stopped crying, but the green boy hadn't loosened his grip on Red X.

"Robin could never hate you, Beastboy. He loves you, I could see it in his eyes when he took his mask off." Beastboy started to protest but Red X cut him off. "Shut up and listen to me. You are not to blame for the deaths of your parents. They loved you. Would your parents, as you knew them, _ever_ ask you do hurt yourself? And is it your fault that Terra made a mistake? There was nothing you could do to change what happened, and in the end you did save her. You saved her from becoming like Slade. That would be a far worse fate than death." Beastboy could feel the truth in the thief's words, but there was still one more.

"What about... Robin?" Beastboy felt the fog of the last hour lifting as the drug wore off.

"What about him?" Red X pulled his mask off so he could look Beastboy in the eyes. "Robin will always be there for you. You're brothers, something I will never know. I don't have a brother, or a family like you have with the Titans. And I think Robin knows more about you than you realize." Beastboy started and asked why. "Well, he is the prodigy of the world's most knowledgeable man." Beastboy thought about this for a moment, realizing how stupid he was. Of course Robin would know about his past, and he obviously didn't hate him. Why hadn't he realized this before?

"Um...Red X, how did you find me?"

"Oh, that? I found the man that made that _thing _around your neck, and I asked him...politely where the Joker was holding you. Then I left him for your friends because I didn't think I had time to wait for them." He looked over to where the scalpel had landed. It didn't seem so bright anymore. "Looks like I was right." Beastboy pulled away and stood shakily, clutching the cape around his shoulders. Red X stood with him. "The Titans will be here any min-" The thief stopped, and his eyes narrowed at something over Beastboy's shoulder. Beastboy whipped around to see the Joker standing in the doorway.

"I see you ruined my fun. Naughty, naughty. Oh well, I guess if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." The Joker walked into the room. He pulled out a knife. "And you, Red X, you stalled long enough for my serum to wear off. I thought you were like me. A villain." Red X rolled his eyes. He was getting tired of saying this.

"I'm not a villain. I'm a thief. I don't hurt innocent people, or play mind games with them. I just look out for number one." He pulled out two red throwing x's. "Now leave Beastboy alone." The Joker laughed and pulled out his remote. Beastboy collapsed screaming as the man pushed a button. Red X turned to help and the joker pounced on him, swinging the knife. Red X barely managed to dodge the knife over and over again as the clown laughed insanely.

"Beastie, get ready to add another to the list of people whose deaths you're responsible for." He held up Red X's belt where the Xenothium was stored. Red X had been so focused on dodging he hadn't noticed the Joker take it. He also didn't notice when the Joker punched him hard in the stomach because he was looking at the belt. He fell to his knees as the Joker rained down punches. Beastboy felt anger building inside him, at the Joker and at himself for not being able to help. Then he had an idea.

The Joker lifted the scarred face of Red X to his. "Too bad you chose the gray area. The bad guys _and_ the good guys won't save you." He prepared his knife, but was cut off by an agonized cry. Beastboy was on the floor, shaking and screaming as the collar tried to force him to stop changing. "Well isn't that cute. Beastie's trying to save you. Too bad he can't...oh, that's not good."

A large green beast stood where Beastboy had been laying a moment before. It swept the broken collar from its thick neck with a large clawed hand. It was Beastboy's most terrifying form, the one that had been brought on by a shower of hazardous chemicals. It was bigger, stronger, and more feral than any other form Beastboy had. The Beast.

"Whoa..." Red X had never seen this side before. The Joker laughed nervously and released the battered thief.

"See, I let him go. Let's all stay calm. We can make a deal!" The Beast roared at him and charged, beating the clown to the only door. He growled in the Joker's face and sent him flying across the room with a hit from one massive paw. He followed and landed right in front of the clown. He raised one paw to finish the Joker off, when a large black shadow in the shape of a Raven materialized in the center of the room. Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire stepped out of it, and it shrunk down into Raven. Robin ran over to the Beast.

"Beastboy! No! Don't do this." The beast growled at him, but made no move. "Beastboy, if you kill this man, you will never be the same. He isn't worth it!"

"Don't listen to him! Be a man! I took your innocence! Take my life!" The Beast roared at the Joker, shutting him up.

"No, Beastboy. Do the right thing. You aren't a killer. I know about your parents, and your past. Most of it, at least. But you aren't a killer, no matter what this man told you." The Beast backed away, and slowly shrank down to Beastboy's human form. He wavered, and then fell only to be caught by Raven. She pulled him to her and he burrowed his face into the crook of her neck.

"Joker, you're going to jail. I'm taking you there myself." The joker just laughed and looked over at Beastboy, still in Raven's arms. Starfire was helping Red X stand while Cyborg examined his injuries.

"Oh, Beastie. You'll always be weak! You'll never forget how I strapped you to a table, took your virginity, made you see your demons! Hahaha!" Robin turned to hit the clown, only to have Raven push Beastboy into his arms. Her four red eyes blazed as she took on her full demon form, tentacles of dark magic reaching out from her robe. They grabbed the Joker and began pulling him towards her. Beastboy leaned on his brother as he watched his love pulling the screaming clown under her robes.

"I told you not to come near him again." Her voice was deeper, scarier than normal. The Joker was begging for his life, forgetting that minutes before he was ready to kill Red X. "Oh, don't worry. I won't kill you. But you'll wish I had." He disappeared into her robes, screaming. Beastboy looked away, as did Robin, when the screams stopped. When they looked once again at Raven, she was normal and a grown man lay motionless in front of her. "He's not dead, Robin. He's locked in his mind, trapped in his greatest fears." Robin nodded. He was glad that Raven had taken care of the man. He doubted he could have shown that much restraint against the man who had hurt his family.

"Then we better call Arkham." Robin figured that since it was the place that had held the real Joker, it would work fine for the fake one. Red X leaned on Starfire as he walked over to Beastboy. He placed his cape once more around Beastboy's bare shoulders. Robin saw this and nodded at Red X. "We found Dr. Mark right where you left him. We followed the directions in the letter you left. Thank you." Red X tried to shrug but groaned as the pain washed over him.

"He's got three broken ribs and so many bruises I can't even count them." Cyborg walked over with the remains of the collar. "B, how did you get this thing off?"

"When I become that beast, my brainwaves change, remember? They become more animal than human, so I figured that maybe the collar wouldn't be able to shut down the beast's brainwaves." They all stared at him in wonder. "What?"

"That's so...smart for you." Raven smiled. Beastboy grinned weakly and fell into her embrace. "Let's go home."

* * *

><p>It was the morning after. Beastboy looked at himself in his mirror. He wore the same black and purple uniform, had the same green skin, same pointy ears. But he knew on the inside he was different. He walked out into the hallway and went to Robin's room. Robin was on his secret phone with Batman, discussing the details of the Joker's admission into Arkham, but as soon as he saw Beastboy he hung up.<p>

"Hi, Robin." Beastboy entered the room and stood awkwardly. Robin sat down on his bed, motioning for Beastboy to sit next to him. "Robin, I need to tell you...something." Robin waited silently as Beastboy relayed all that he had seen under the drug. "You hated me. And I believed that it was really you."

"Beastboy, I know about your past. I have for awhile. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't want to make you feel like I didn't trust you. I know about everyone's past. It's what I do." They sat quietly on the bed together.

"I was just so afraid that everything they said was true. Terra, my parents, you, those were my greatest fears." Beastboy sighed.

"Do you want to know what my greatest fear was when they took you again?" Beastboy looked over at his leader. Robin had taken off his mask and his crystal blue eyes were unreadable. "I was afraid that...I would never see you again. I was afraid that I couldn't save you, and that you'd never forgive me."

"Robin, you did everything you could! I'm sure of it!"

"And yet, it wasn't me that found you. It was someone I thought was a bad guy. I promised you that I'd never let you get hurt again. But I failed. You should hate me, not the other way around."

"No, you saved me from myself. You were right, I didn't want to kill the Joker. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, Beastboy."

"We'll always be brothers." Robin just hugged him in response. Then they heard Robin's door open. Cyborg stood in his ridiculous apron and chef's hat.

"Yo, B.B. I'm making breakfast! Get out here and help!"

* * *

><p>Red X couldn't believe that once again he was in the medical bay at Titans Tower. His ribs were cracked, but they hadn't punctured anything. Red X decided that he'd stay for a few more days though. He stood painfully and walked out into the main room to find Cyborg and Beastboy preparing what looked like breakfast for the other Titans. They saw him enter and suddenly he was engulfed in a hug from Starfire.<p>

"Oh, glorious greetings, new friend. Thank you for saving friend Beastboy! We were just getting ready to have the breakfast. Come, join us! Tell me: Where do come from, what is your favorite color, and will you stay with us forever?" Red X looked over at the other Titans for help, but they were all holding back their laughter at his discomfort. Finally, Robin took pity on him.

"Star, let go of him. He has broken ribs, remember?" Then he couldn't hold it in anymore. They all laughed as Red X scooted away from the confused alien.

"Look, kids. I'm not staying. I'm not becoming a Titan, or a good guy. I'm still a thief." Robin shrugged.

"We know, but can't you stay for breakfast? We'd hate to send you off on an empty stomach." Red X smiled and joined them at the table.

"I guess I can do that." Beastboy smiled from his position at the stove and served him a plate. "Hey, you. Where's my cape?"

**Yeah, Red X isn't turning hero because then he wouldn't be Red X. I'm pretty sure there will be one more chapter, one about Beastboy and Raven. Because I love them. Reviews! **


	12. A New Beginning

**Ok, last chapter. Finally found some inspiration. Thanks everyone for reading, and don't forget to write some reviews.**

Two years had passed since the arrest and commital of the new Joker. He was living out his days rocking back and forth in his cell, mumbling gibberish, living in his own mind. Batman kept an eye on him for the Titans, and life went on.

Beastboy was now eighteen and Raven was nineteen. Robin was still in a relationship with Starfire, and Cyborg and Bumblebee had recently taken their relationship to a new level: she moved in. With the other Titans East as well, now known as just Teen Titans. There were now so many Titans that the old Titans East had decided to move to Jump City to help Robin's team while a new group moved into the east Tower.

Raven walked out her room to find Beastboy and Aqualad playing videogames while Mas and Menos bothered Cyborg, who was making breakfast. Speedy and Robin were probably training in the gym, trying to outdo each other for Starfire's affections. Speedy knew he didn't stand a chance of winning Starfire's love, but he did love to piss off Robin. Bumblebee was still asleep, and no one dared wake her up.

The object of Raven's affection turned from his game as soon as he heard her come in. This distraction was punctuated by a loud "GAME OVER" from the screen, but he was halfway across the room. Raven tried to hide her smile, but she found it harder and harder to do so. She had gained greater control over her powers, and she could now allow her feelings of love out without making anything explode. She turned to make some tea, and as she put the water to boil, she felt arms around her waist.

"Hey Raven." He kissed her neck. She smiled.

"Good morning." She turned and kissed him lightly.

"Awwww!" Cyborg laughed. At least, he did until Raven made the scrambled eggs explode is his face. She grinned at his face and high-fived Mas and Menos.

"Oh, dude! You should see the look on your face!" Beastboy giggled. He was taller than Raven now, and he had become much more muscular over the last year. He had grown up. But he still made his jokes, and laughed at things that were only to him. Raven and him still bickered about his sense of humor, but they did it playfully. Beastboy loved Raven more with each passing day, and even though he would never be completely over his past, she helped.

The Titans spent the day fighting various criminals, each time winning after intense battles. It was a normal day for the larger Teen Titans group, and of course Beastboy asked for pizza after their last fight.

* * *

><p>Beastboy and Raven sat in her room, meditating before bed. He had started this two years before to control his nightmares, and it was now how he relaxed. When Raven and Beastboy finished, he kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave. But she caught his arm and pulled him into a deep kiss. She loved these moments. He deepened the kiss, and pushed her back to the bed where they laid down. Beastboy was so wrapped up in in the kiss that before he knew it he had hitched one of Raven's legs up over his hip. She arched her back as he kissed her neck and nibbled her ear. But she knew they couldn't get further. Beastboy always had flashbacks to the Joker when they got too intimate. She was surprised they had even gotten this far. But those thoughts were silenced as he kissed her on the lips again, his tongue exploring her mouth while hers did the same. Suddenly he pulled back.<p>

"What is it?" Raven whispered. "Did you see..._him_?"

"No...I didn't. That's just it. I _didn't_ see him." He grinned as he leaned back in for a kiss. Her hands explored his muscular torso until they came to the hemline of his shirt, where they lingered, toying with the fabric. Beastboy sat up in the bed, and pulled Raven up too. He placed her hand on the hemline again. He looked at her with all his love shining in his bright emerald eyes.

"Are you sure? We can wait." Truthfully, Raven didn't want to wait. But she would never push Beastboy to do anything before he was ready.

"I'm ready. I trust you. I _love_ you. I'm ready." He helped her pull his shirt over his head. She stood and Beastboy stood too. She took off her cape, and then slowly pulled down the sleeves of her leotard. Underneath, she was completely naked, her gray skin smooth and her body tight and muscular. She looked at Beastboy for a reaction. No one had ever seen her naked before, but the look of pure love calmed her nerves. Beastboy took off his pants and then his boxers, standing before his love naked as well. He took her hand and led her back to her bed where they laid down together. Raven had to be sure though.

"Are you sure?" Beastboy answered with a kiss. Raven kissed back, opening her mouth to allow his tongue in. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the scars on his back. Then she straddled him, allowing him to slowly enter her.

The other Titans didn't hear a thing through the sound-proof doors.

Afterwards, Raven and Beastboy lay in each other's embrace. Beastboy had never felt so happy, and he celebrated in his head that he had finally overcome his past. He looked at the girl in his arms. She was sleeping peacefully, and she was his dark angel. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Raven."

**End of story. Thank you everyone. I thought maybe some fluff-type stuff was needed to lighten the end. Because I love happy endings, don't you?**

**~orangekangaroo**

**P.S. I am writing a sequel about the new Titans East. Check it out on my profile.**


End file.
